seanan_mcguire: (editing)
[personal profile] seanan_mcguire
July 19th, 2014.

"In looking at the biological structure of the screwfly, the real question isn't 'what was evolution thinking,' it's 'are any of you paying attention to me, or should I just stop talking and put all of this on your final exam'?" Professor Michael Mason picked up one of the books on his desk and dropped it without ceremony. The resulting boom made half the students jump, and made almost all of them guiltily focus their attention on the front of the lecture hall. Michael folded his arms. "Since you're all clearly sharing with the rest of the class, does anybody feel like sharing with me?"

Silence fell over the class. Michael cocked his head slightly to the side, watching them, and waited. Finally, one of the students cleared her throat and said, "It's just there are these crazy stories going around campus, you know? So we're a little on-edge."

"Crazy stories? Crazy stories like what?"

One of the football players who was taking the class for science credit said, "Like dead dudes getting up and walking around and eating living dudes."

"We're living in a Romero movie!" shouted someone at the back of the room, drawing nervous laughter from the rest of the students.

"All right, now, settle down. Let's approach this like scientists—if it's important enough to distract from biology, we should think about it like rational people. You mentioned Romero movies. Does that mean you're positing zombies?"

There was another flurry of laughter. It ended quickly, replaced by dead seriousness. "I think we are, Professor," said the herpetology major in the front row. She shook her head. "It's the only thing that makes sense."

Another student rolled his eyes. "Because zombies always make sense."

She glared at him. "Shut up."

"Make me."

"Now that we have demonstrated once again that no human being is ever more than a few steps away from pulling pigtails on the playground, who wants to posit a reason that we'd have zombies now, rather than, oh, six weeks ago?" Michael looked around the room. "Come on. I'm playing along with you. Now one of you needs to play along with me."

"That Mayday Army thing." The words came from a tiny biochem major who almost never spoke during class; she just sat there taking notes with a single-minded dedication that was more frightening than admirable. It was like she thought the bottom of the bell curve would be shot after every exam. She wasn't taking notes now. She was looking at Professor Mason with wide, serious eyes, pencil finally down. "They released an experimental, genetically engineered pathogen into the atmosphere. Dr. Kellis hadn't reached human trials yet. If there were going to be side effects, he didn't have time to find out what they were."

She sounded utterly serene, like she'd finally found a test that she was certain she could pass. Michael Mason paused. "That's an interesting theory, Michelle."

"The CDC has shut down half a dozen clinical trials in the last week, and they won't say why," she replied, as if that had some bearing on the conversation.

Maybe it did. Michael Mason straightened. "All right. I'm going to humor you, because it's not every day that one gets a zombie apocalypse as an excuse for canceling class. You're all dismissed, on one condition."

"What's that, Professor?" asked a student.

"I want you all to stay together. Check your phones for news; check your Twitter feeds. See if anything strange is going on before you go anywhere." He forced a smile, wishing he wasn't starting to feel so uneasy. "If we're having a zombie apocalypse, let's make it a minor one, and all be back here on Monday, all right?"

Laughter and applause greeted his words. He stayed at the front of the room until the last of the students had streamed out; then he grabbed his coat and started for the exit himself. He needed to cancel classes for the rest of the day. He needed to call Stacy, and tell her to get Phillip from the preschool. If there was one thing science had taught him, it was that safe was always better than sorry, and some things were never on the final exam.

***

Professor Michael Mason has announced the cancellation of class for the rest of the week. His podcast will be posted tomorrow night, as scheduled. All students are given a one-week extension on their summer term papers.

When will you Rise?

Date: 2011-05-21 02:15 pm (UTC)
beccastareyes: Image of Sam from LotR. Text: loyal (Default)
From: [personal profile] beccastareyes
I wonder if the use of the screwfly in the first paragraph is a nod to The Screwfly Solution.

Date: 2011-05-21 02:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaoticgoodnik.livejournal.com
I was wondering that too.

Date: 2011-05-21 03:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tygerversionx.livejournal.com
Part of me just went with "snerk ... screwfly."

Date: 2011-05-21 03:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] admnaismith.livejournal.com

Oh, definitely.

Date: 2011-05-21 04:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladymondegreen.livejournal.com
Yeah I noticed that too. The fact that I've seen a huge stack of Tiptree paperbacks in the house of a certain author tends to make me think the answer is yes.

Date: 2011-05-21 02:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silvertwi.livejournal.com
I for one would have been interested in seeing how that discussion progressed. There are occasionally fascinating conversations to be had in a classroom.

...though given that this is the day after the start of the Rising, that could have ended in an outbreak, easily.

Date: 2011-05-22 03:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paradisacorbasi.livejournal.com
I expect it went on in a chatroom sometime after that.

If my teacher had taken the idea of a zombie apocalypse seriously, I'd have gone straight to the supermarket, got a bunch of canned goods, and hunkered down for the weekend.

Date: 2011-05-21 02:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lysystratae.livejournal.com
AUGH... knowing he tried to keep his family safe even tho he didn't really believe there was a problem just makes it that much worse...

Date: 2011-05-21 03:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paradisacorbasi.livejournal.com
Well, he wasn't sure there was a problem, but his class was uniformly freaked out. So they had data he hadn't encountered yet. I think he was already starting to believe when he told them class dismissed. He might not have believed zombies, but he believed something was very, very wrong.

Date: 2011-05-21 03:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paradisacorbasi.livejournal.com
A teacher with a flexible mindset.

Excellent.


And thank you. On days I'm at work you have me eagerly waiting the next installment. On days I'm off, you have me sleeping in so I can wake up and know the next one is there, ready to read.

And the suspense and tension -- you could bounce quarters off it!

Date: 2011-05-21 03:23 pm (UTC)
callibr8: icon courtesy of Wyld_Dandelyon (Default)
From: [personal profile] callibr8
Even though my rational mind knows that this is a novel not reality, I'm getting pretty freaked out here. When I came home yesterday afternoon to find my partner pale and unmoving on the bed, the need to find out whether she was okay (as in, skin warm, breathing normal) had an uphill battle to win out over the newly-roused caution to let sleeping zombies lie. :-)

That college class vignette was masterfully done, and I say that from the perspective of someone whose business class often has just such interesting in-class discussions, explicitly encouraged and facilitated by our instructor.

Date: 2011-05-21 03:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tygerversionx.livejournal.com
Your comment makes me imagine a business class discussion: "How would a zombie outbreak affect the stock market, and how can you diversify your portfolio to take advantage of it?"

Date: 2011-05-21 03:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liret.livejournal.com
The nice thing about going to school for disaster management is that a lot of our classes run like that.

Date: 2011-05-21 04:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tygerversionx.livejournal.com
And now I'm on a track of "when Judgement Day comes, how can you find a warehouse of Terminator models and reprogram them to provide security for your safe-houses?"

Date: 2011-05-25 07:01 am (UTC)
callibr8: icon courtesy of Wyld_Dandelyon (Yaaay)
From: [personal profile] callibr8
*SPLUTTER*

I'm taking a business class just now. It's Human Relations, so we talk about diversity of culture, not portfolios, but the instructor is just exactly the kind of didactic (or is it bombastic) type who I can easily visualize saying just exactly that.

Thanks, I needed the laugh!

Date: 2011-05-21 06:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elorie.livejournal.com
I teach Freshman Comp. I would have gotten them all to do a rhetorical analysis on the reports they were getting, to see if they thought it was a hoax.

Date: 2011-05-21 03:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shiyiya.livejournal.com
Oh, poor Masons.

Date: 2011-05-21 03:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] katiebabs (from livejournal.com)
LOL over the living in a Romero movie comment.

Date: 2011-05-21 05:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] roadnotes.livejournal.com
Eeeeep. This is getting more and more effective.

Date: 2011-05-21 05:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] baka-kit.livejournal.com
Ohgodohgodohgod he's going to do everything he can ... but it's not going to be enough.

Date: 2011-05-21 06:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] droewyn.livejournal.com
Well... only on a personal level. He's going to save a whole lot of lives, not just through canceling classes, but by organizing and reporting data on the outbreak through his podcast.

Date: 2011-05-21 11:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] baka-kit.livejournal.com
I know but PHILLIP!

As hard as I tried not to get attached to him, knowing what's going to happen, I got sucked in. And now I'm watching it all play out with a sense of inevitability, and even though I know they're just electrons on a page, I feel this helpless dread.

Date: 2011-05-22 01:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paradisacorbasi.livejournal.com
If Phillip's in preschool now, it means he survives the Rising, I think. Georgia said he was closer to six when he amplified.

Date: 2011-05-25 07:05 am (UTC)
callibr8: icon courtesy of Wyld_Dandelyon (Age7)
From: [personal profile] callibr8
This makes some sense, since as I recall there's a 40-lb or so threshhold, and unless Philip is unusually large/tall for his age, he wouldn't reach that number until he was somewhere in the age 5-6 range.

My five-year-old weighed 17.2 kilos (38 lbs) at his last doctor visit a week ago, but he's small for his age.

Date: 2011-05-21 05:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kippurbird.livejournal.com
I comment just to use this icon.

Date: 2011-05-21 06:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] orlacarey.livejournal.com
I thought you'd be amused...next Friday I have a 4 hour drive planned where the entertainment will bee the two passengers reading all of these stories to the driver so were all ready for Deadline

Date: 2011-05-21 06:28 pm (UTC)
kshandra: A cross-stitch sampler in a gilt frame, plainly stating "FUCK CANCER" (Fan)
From: [personal profile] kshandra
So nice to see someone else still using this icon! (I'm just disappointed that [livejournal.com profile] lexigeek took them all down when he started working with/for QMX, 'cause I would have liked to go back for the others....)

Date: 2011-05-22 01:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] orlacarey.livejournal.com
I never actually saw any of the other ones. I got it at least 2nd or 3rd hand. Always nice to find someone else who shares my taste in icons :)

Date: 2011-05-21 07:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] georgiamagnolia.livejournal.com
I first want to say that I am loving ALL the little bits you are posting and am very much looking forward to getting Deadline in at my place of work. Next I want to say that I have been horrified and amused and saddened and horrified some more reading all of them. This is the one that has made me the most uneasy. And somehow that is worse than horrified and sad, I think because it brings back the feeling I had throughout reading Feed. And yes, I still get the shakes every time I drive past the horse herds when driving to my parent's home... yes, you are a long lasting effect, Seanan. You are a goddess of understated elegant horror.

Date: 2011-06-14 08:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com
<3

Thank you.

Date: 2011-05-21 07:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shaharazad.livejournal.com
Prof. Mason is an instantly likable and interesting character.

So far this is the only decent apocalypse we've got happening today.

Date: 2011-05-21 09:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vixyish.livejournal.com
Prof. Mason is an instantly likable and interesting character.

Ain't THAT ironic.

Date: 2011-05-23 02:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elorie.livejournal.com
George and Shaun might not be entirely reliable narrators where their parents are concerned. Young adults who haven't left the house yet are rarely the best judges of their parents' character and motives.

Date: 2011-05-21 08:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saoba.livejournal.com
Oh tiny biochem major Michelle, I hope you make it.

Date: 2011-05-21 08:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dormouse-in-tea.livejournal.com
I hope she does. Since I literally went to school with her. Seanan! STOP READING MY MIND.

Date: 2011-05-21 08:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trektone.livejournal.com
LOVED THIS ONE!

Debbie! Michelle! Maybe even Andrei? Must reread "Everglades" right now!

Date: 2011-05-21 08:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trektone.livejournal.com
Oh, I misremembered. It was Eva, not Michelle ...
Edited Date: 2011-05-21 08:48 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-05-21 09:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drcpunk.livejournal.com
Wow. The Masons are reminding me of a Heinlein couple, except that reality isn't their bitch. But, they're not assuming it is, and, as far as I can tell, they're basically heroic people who do just keep on going, no matter what -- and who are simply not good at parenting after Philip (or, perhaps, not interested in parenting per se, and that's where my brain starts doing speculations that a) fall into conspiracy nutcase, b) are likely wrong, and c) Seanan couldn't comment on regardless).

If memory serves me right...

Date: 2011-05-22 02:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paradisacorbasi.livejournal.com
According to both Mason kids, having to kill Phillip broke them in such a way that they decided not to love anymore so they wouldn't get broken again by having to kill anyone they loved. That includes their adopted children.

Re: If memory serves me right...

Date: 2011-05-22 02:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drcpunk.livejournal.com
Your memory is probably right on target.

Date: 2011-05-22 03:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladysoapmaker.livejournal.com
Do they still call it foreshadowing if you know what is going to happen?

Date: 2011-05-22 04:58 am (UTC)
ironed_orchid: watercolour and pen style sketch of a brown tabby cat curl up with her head looking up at the viewer and her front paw stretched out on the left (Default)
From: [personal profile] ironed_orchid
Oh man, poor Masons, poor everyone else. Awesome students.

In a lovely dose of Coyote irony...

Date: 2011-05-22 04:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] denaliyote.livejournal.com
http://emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies_blog.asp

...the =real= CDC agrees with you that there should be zombie preparedness plans. :}

Perhaps they read your journal?

De-lurking as a coyoteboy ta share a laugh,
-Denali!

Date: 2011-05-22 11:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wendyzski.livejournal.com
Someone asked me what I was reading last night.

I explained about FEED, and about the next book, and these snippets. Then I said "and I'll want to read the first book again just before I read the new one, but since I know that it will make me cry and scream an throw the book across the room, I am currently bolstering myself with fluff literature in an effort to emotionally survive TWO of these books in a row".

Date: 2011-05-23 12:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yellowblackhaze.livejournal.com
Everyone just trying to go about the days while the world is about to end.

Date: 2011-06-17 03:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedorkygirl.livejournal.com
YES! His podcast!

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