seanan_mcguire: (Default)

Our winners have been chosen, and are…





Day one: Paige Wolf, comment #39, has won a set of blue and green dice! No pink.
Day two: Jon Knight, comment #19, has won a copy of What if the Scarlet Witch and Peter Parker Were Siblings?
Day three: Tonda, comment #60, has won a copy of Backpacking Through Bedlam!
Day four: Lorcan, comment #56, has won a copy of A Killing Frost!
Day five: Samantha, comment #62, has won a copy of Be the Serpent!
Day six: Lea D., comment #53, has won a copy of Oz Reimagined!
Day seven: Catherine, comment #45, has won a copy of Unbreakable!
Day eight: Eowyn, comment #37, has won a copy of Kingdom of Needle and Bone!
Day nine: Sue E Stewart, comment #31, has won an ARC of The Proper Thing!
Day ten: calimae, comment #23, has won copies of Sleep No More and The Innocent Sleep!
Day eleven: Jenni, comment #18, has won a copy of Tidal Creatures!
Day twelve: Morgan, comment #23, has won a copy of Be Sure!





And finally for this year:





Day thirteen: Nathan Sukhi, comment #40, has won a copy of Velveteen vs. The Early Adventures!





If you’ve won, please email through the website contact form by Friday, January 10th at noon Pacific. Please include your physical mailing address, the name you entered under, and the name of the prize you won. If you won a book, please specify whether you want it personalized or just signed. Be aware that all Subterranean Press books are already signed, and cannot be un-signed.





As always, this is your only notification. I will not be emailing people, or contacting them directly in any way. If you don’t claim your prize, it goes back into the abyss to wait for its next escape opportunity.





All 2024 giveaway posts are now officially closed.





Congrats to all the winners, and Happy Hogswatch!

seanan_mcguire: (Default)

…a copy of Velveteen vs. the Early Adventures!





Hello, readers, writers, and terrifying couch gremlins, and welcome to the final day of the Thirteen Days of Hogswatch, the game where the points are made up but the rules really do matter.  This is our last giveaway for 2024, somewhat later than normal, but still happening, and now better aligned with the canonical dates of Hogswatch! I hope you’re all excited!  Here are a few things you should know:





1. Every post will have its own prize, and its own rules.  This is to filter out people linked here from the “hey, free stuff!” blogs, who are less interested in our prizes than they are in the fact that they don’t cost anything.
2. Unclaimed prizes will not be redistributed, they will be returned to my office to think about what they did.
3. I cannot afford international postage.  If you are outside the US/Canada, you must state so in your entry.  If your name is drawn, you will be asked to pay postage. Sorry about that.
4. All posts automatically mirror to Dreamwidth.  For RNG reasons, comments left on Dreamwidth do not count as entries; you must enter via the root post on my blog (seananmcguire.com/blog) if you want to be eligible to win.
5. If you haven’t commented here before, your first comment will go into moderation, and be approved as soon as I see it. So if your comment does not appear, please don’t comment again. It still won’t work, until I manually approve you. I promise to approve before prizes are drawn.





So here.  We.  GO!





Our final prize this year is a copy of Velveteen vs. the Early Adventures. To enter…





1. Comment on this post.
2. Who is your favorite superhero?
3. If you are outside the US/Canada, tell me so.





All winners will be selected at 12PT on January 5th.  So now, as the sages say…





…GAME ON!

seanan_mcguire: (Default)

…a copy of Be Sure, the first Wayward Children omnibus!





Hello, readers, writers, and terrifying couch gremlins, and welcome to the Thirteen Days of Hogswatch, the game where the points are made up but the rules really do matter.  This is our twelfth giveaway for 2024, somewhat later than normal, but still happening, and now better aligned with the canonical dates of Hogswatch! I hope you’re all excited!  Here are a few things you should know:





1. Every post will have its own prize, and its own rules.  This is to filter out people linked here from the “hey, free stuff!” blogs, who are less interested in our prizes than they are in the fact that they don’t cost anything.
2. Unclaimed prizes will not be redistributed, they will be returned to my office to think about what they did.
3. I cannot afford international postage.  If you are outside the US/Canada, you must state so in your entry.  If your name is drawn, you will be asked to pay postage. Sorry about that.
4. All posts automatically mirror to Dreamwidth.  For RNG reasons, comments left on Dreamwidth do not count as entries; you must enter via the root post on my blog (seananmcguire.com/blog) if you want to be eligible to win.
5. If you haven’t commented here before, your first comment will go into moderation, and be approved as soon as I see it. So if your comment does not appear, please don’t comment again. It still won’t work, until I manually approve you. I promise to approve before prizes are drawn.





So here.  We.  GO!





Our twelfth prize this year is a copy of Be Sure, an omnibus comprising the first three Wayward Children books. To enter…





1. Comment on this post.
2. What is your favorite portal fantasy?
3. If you are outside the US/Canada, tell me so.





All winners will be selected at 12PT on January 5th.  So now, as the sages say…





…GAME ON!

seanan_mcguire: (Default)

…a copy of Tidal Creatures!





Hello, readers, writers, and terrifying couch gremlins, and welcome to the Thirteen Days of Hogswatch, the game where the points are made up but the rules really do matter.  This is our eleventh giveaway for 2024, somewhat later than normal, but still happening, and now better aligned with the canonical dates of Hogswatch! I hope you’re all excited!  Here are a few things you should know:





1. Every post will have its own prize, and its own rules.  This is to filter out people linked here from the “hey, free stuff!” blogs, who are less interested in our prizes than they are in the fact that they don’t cost anything.
2. Unclaimed prizes will not be redistributed, they will be returned to my office to think about what they did.
3. I cannot afford international postage.  If you are outside the US/Canada, you must state so in your entry.  If your name is drawn, you will be asked to pay postage. Sorry about that.
4. All posts automatically mirror to Dreamwidth.  For RNG reasons, comments left on Dreamwidth do not count as entries; you must enter via the root post on my blog (seananmcguire.com/blog) if you want to be eligible to win.
5. If you haven’t commented here before, your first comment will go into moderation, and be approved as soon as I see it. So if your comment does not appear, please don’t comment again. It still won’t work, until I manually approve you. I promise to approve before prizes are drawn.





So here.  We.  GO!





Our eleventh prize this year is a copy of Tidal Creatures. To enter…





1. Comment on this post.
2. What is your favorite fictional representation of (or character associated with) the moon?
3. If you are outside the US/Canada, tell me so.





All winners will be selected at 12PT on January 5th.  So now, as the sages say…





…GAME ON!

seanan_mcguire: (Default)

…signed copies of Sleep No More and The Innocent Sleep!





Hello, readers, writers, and terrifying couch gremlins, and welcome to the Thirteen Days of Hogswatch, the game where the points are made up but the rules really do matter.  This is our tenth giveaway for 2024, somewhat later than normal, but still happening, and now better aligned with the canonical dates of Hogswatch! I hope you’re all excited!  Here are a few things you should know:





1. Every post will have its own prize, and its own rules.  This is to filter out people linked here from the “hey, free stuff!” blogs, who are less interested in our prizes than they are in the fact that they don’t cost anything.
2. Unclaimed prizes will not be redistributed, they will be returned to my office to think about what they did.
3. I cannot afford international postage.  If you are outside the US/Canada, you must state so in your entry.  If your name is drawn, you will be asked to pay postage. Sorry about that.
4. All posts automatically mirror to Dreamwidth.  For RNG reasons, comments left on Dreamwidth do not count as entries; you must enter via the root post on my blog (seananmcguire.com/blog) if you want to be eligible to win.
5. If you haven’t commented here before, your first comment will go into moderation, and be approved as soon as I see it. So if your comment does not appear, please don’t comment again. It still won’t work, until I manually approve you. I promise to approve before prizes are drawn.





So here.  We.  GO!





Our tenth prize is a rare double-header. I couldn’t decide between Sleep No More and The Innocent Sleep, so I’m offering both. To enter…





1. Comment on this post.
2. What is your favorite Shakespeare adaptation?
3. If you are outside the US/Canada, tell me so.





All winners will be selected at 12PT on January 5th.  So now, as the sages say…





…GAME ON!

seanan_mcguire: (Default)

…a print ARC of The Proper Thing!





Hello, readers, writers, and terrifying couch gremlins, and welcome to the Thirteen Days of Hogswatch, the game where the points are made up but the rules really do matter.  This is our ninth giveaway for 2024, somewhat later than normal, but still happening, and now better aligned with the canonical dates of Hogswatch! I hope you’re all excited!  Here are a few things you should know:





1. Every post will have its own prize, and its own rules.  This is to filter out people linked here from the “hey, free stuff!” blogs, who are less interested in our prizes than they are in the fact that they don’t cost anything.
2. Unclaimed prizes will not be redistributed, they will be returned to my office to think about what they did.
3. I cannot afford international postage.  If you are outside the US/Canada, you must state so in your entry.  If your name is drawn, you will be asked to pay postage. Sorry about that.
4. All posts automatically mirror to Dreamwidth.  For RNG reasons, comments left on Dreamwidth do not count as entries; you must enter via the root post on my blog (seananmcguire.com/blog) if you want to be eligible to win.
5. If you haven’t commented here before, your first comment will go into moderation, and be approved as soon as I see it. So if your comment does not appear, please don’t comment again. It still won’t work, until I manually approve you. I promise to approve before prizes are drawn.





So here.  We.  GO!





Our ninth prize this year is a print ARC (paperback) of The Proper Thing, my second short story collection. To enter…





1. Comment on this post.
2. Name a short story that has stuck with you in some way.
3. If you are outside the US/Canada, tell me so.





All winners will be selected at 12PT on January 5th.  So now, as the sages say…





…GAME ON!

seanan_mcguire: (Default)

…a copy of Kingdom of Needle and Bone by Mira Grant!





Hello, readers, writers, and terrifying couch gremlins, and welcome to the Thirteen Days of Hogswatch, the game where the points are made up but the rules really do matter.  This is our eighth giveaway for 2024, somewhat later than normal, but still happening, and now better aligned with the canonical dates of Hogswatch! I hope you’re all excited!  Here are a few things you should know:





1. Every post will have its own prize, and its own rules.  This is to filter out people linked here from the “hey, free stuff!” blogs, who are less interested in our prizes than they are in the fact that they don’t cost anything.
2. Unclaimed prizes will not be redistributed, they will be returned to my office to think about what they did.
3. I cannot afford international postage.  If you are outside the US/Canada, you must state so in your entry.  If your name is drawn, you will be asked to pay postage. Sorry about that.
4. All posts automatically mirror to Dreamwidth.  For RNG reasons, comments left on Dreamwidth do not count as entries; you must enter via the root post on my blog (seananmcguire.com/blog) if you want to be eligible to win.
5. If you haven’t commented here before, your first comment will go into moderation, and be approved as soon as I see it. So if your comment does not appear, please don’t comment again. It still won’t work, until I manually approve you. I promise to approve before prizes are drawn.





So here.  We.  GO!





Our eighth prize this year is a copy of Kingdom of Needle and Bone, published under the name Mira Grant. To enter…





1. Comment on this post.
2. Name your favorite* disease.
3. If you are outside the US/Canada, tell me so.





All winners will be selected at 12PT on January 5th.  So now, as the sages say…





…GAME ON!





(*I know not everyone has a favorite disease in the “oh I like this” sense. So “most interesting, most intriguing, most feared” are all viable selections.)

seanan_mcguire: (Default)

…a copy of Unbreakable by Mira Grant!





Hello, readers, writers, and terrifying couch gremlins, and welcome to the Thirteen Days of Hogswatch, the game where the points are made up but the rules really do matter.  This is our seventh giveaway for 2024, somewhat later than normal, but still happening, and now better aligned with the canonical dates of Hogswatch! I hope you’re all excited!  Here are a few things you should know:





1. Every post will have its own prize, and its own rules.  This is to filter out people linked here from the “hey, free stuff!” blogs, who are less interested in our prizes than they are in the fact that they don’t cost anything.
2. Unclaimed prizes will not be redistributed, they will be returned to my office to think about what they did.
3. I cannot afford international postage.  If you are outside the US/Canada, you must state so in your entry.  If your name is drawn, you will be asked to pay postage. Sorry about that.
4. All posts automatically mirror to Dreamwidth.  For RNG reasons, comments left on Dreamwidth do not count as entries; you must enter via the root post on my blog (seananmcguire.com/blog) if you want to be eligible to win.
5. If you haven’t commented here before, your first comment will go into moderation, and be approved as soon as I see it. So if your comment does not appear, please don’t comment again. It still won’t work, until I manually approve you. I promise to approve before prizes are drawn.





So here.  We.  GO!





Our seventh prize this year is a copy of Unbreakable, published under the name Mira Grant. To enter…





1. Comment on this post.
2. Name your favorite teen superhero or magical girl.
3. If you are outside the US/Canada, tell me so.





All winners will be selected at 12PT on January 5th.  So now, as the sages say…





…GAME ON!

seanan_mcguire: (Default)

…a signed copy of Oz Reimagined!





Hello, readers, writers, and terrifying couch gremlins, and welcome to the Thirteen Days of Hogswatch, the game where the points are made up but the rules really do matter.  This is our sixth giveaway for 2024, somewhat later than normal, but still happening, and now better aligned with the canonical dates of Hogswatch! I hope you’re all excited!  Here are a few things you should know:





1. Every post will have its own prize, and its own rules.  This is to filter out people linked here from the “hey, free stuff!” blogs, who are less interested in our prizes than they are in the fact that they don’t cost anything.
2. Unclaimed prizes will not be redistributed, they will be returned to my office to think about what they did.
3. I cannot afford international postage.  If you are outside the US/Canada, you must state so in your entry.  If your name is drawn, you will be asked to pay postage. Sorry about that.
4. All posts automatically mirror to Dreamwidth.  For RNG reasons, comments left on Dreamwidth do not count as entries; you must enter via the root post on my blog (seananmcguire.com/blog) if you want to be eligible to win.
5. If you haven’t commented here before, your first comment will go into moderation, and be approved as soon as I see it. So if your comment does not appear, please don’t comment again. It still won’t work, until I manually approve you. I promise to approve before prizes are drawn.





So here.  We.  GO!





Our sixth prize this year is a signed copy of Oz Reimagined, an Oz anthology. It will be signed, unless that you ask that it not be. To enter…





1. Comment on this post.
2. What is your favorite work based on or inspired by Oz?
3. If you are outside the US/Canada, tell me so.





All winners will be selected at 12PT on January 5th.  So now, as the sages say…





…GAME ON!

seanan_mcguire: (Default)

…a signed copy of Be the Serpent!





Hello, readers, writers, and terrifying couch gremlins, and welcome to the Thirteen Days of Hogswatch, the game where the points are made up but the rules really do matter.  This is our fifth giveaway for 2024, somewhat later than normal, but still happening, and now better aligned with the canonical dates of Hogswatch! I hope you’re all excited!  Here are a few things you should know:





1. Every post will have its own prize, and its own rules.  This is to filter out people linked here from the “hey, free stuff!” blogs, who are less interested in our prizes than they are in the fact that they don’t cost anything.
2. Unclaimed prizes will not be redistributed, they will be returned to my office to think about what they did.
3. I cannot afford international postage.  If you are outside the US/Canada, you must state so in your entry.  If your name is drawn, you will be asked to pay postage. Sorry about that.
4. All posts automatically mirror to Dreamwidth.  For RNG reasons, comments left on Dreamwidth do not count as entries; you must enter via the root post on my blog (seananmcguire.com/blog) if you want to be eligible to win.
5. If you haven’t commented here before, your first comment will go into moderation, and be approved as soon as I see it. So if your comment does not appear, please don’t comment again. It still won’t work, until I manually approve you. I promise to approve before prizes are drawn.





So here.  We.  GO!





Our fifth prize this year is a hardcover copy of Be the Serpent, an October Daye novel. It will be signed, unless that you ask that it not be. To enter…





1. Comment on this post.
2. Name your fictional best friend.
3. If you are outside the US/Canada, tell me so.





All winners will be selected at 12PT on January 5th.  So now, as the sages say…





…GAME ON!

seanan_mcguire: (Default)

…a signed copy of A Killing Frost!





Hello, readers, writers, and terrifying couch gremlins, and welcome to the Thirteen Days of Hogswatch, the game where the points are made up but the rules really do matter.  This is our fourth giveaway for 2024, somewhat later than normal, but still happening, and now better aligned with the canonical dates of Hogswatch! I hope you’re all excited!  Here are a few things you should know:





1. Every post will have its own prize, and its own rules.  This is to filter out people linked here from the “hey, free stuff!” blogs, who are less interested in our prizes than they are in the fact that they don’t cost anything.
2. Unclaimed prizes will not be redistributed, they will be returned to my office to think about what they did.
3. I cannot afford international postage.  If you are outside the US/Canada, you must state so in your entry.  If your name is drawn, you will be asked to pay postage. Sorry about that.
4. All posts automatically mirror to Dreamwidth.  For RNG reasons, comments left on Dreamwidth do not count as entries; you must enter via the root post on my blog (seananmcguire.com/blog) if you want to be eligible to win.
5. If you haven’t commented here before, your first comment will go into moderation, and be approved as soon as I see it. So if your comment does not appear, please don’t comment again. It still won’t work, until I manually approve you. I promise to approve before prizes are drawn.





So here.  We.  GO!





Our fourth prize this year is a hardcover copy of A Killing Frost, an October Daye novel. It will be signed, unless that you ask that it not be. To enter…





1. Comment on this post.
2. Name your favorite winter movie.
3. If you are outside the US/Canada, tell me so.





All winners will be selected at 12PT on January 5th.  So now, as the sages say…





…GAME ON!

seanan_mcguire: (Default)

…a signed copy of Backpacking Through Bedlam!





Hello, readers, writers, and terrifying couch gremlins, and welcome to the Thirteen Days of Hogswatch, the game where the points are made up but the rules really do matter.  This is our third giveaway for 2024, somewhat later than normal, but still happening, and now better aligned with the canonical dates of Hogswatch! I hope you’re all excited!  Here are a few things you should know:





1. Every post will have its own prize, and its own rules.  This is to filter out people linked here from the “hey, free stuff!” blogs, who are less interested in our prizes than they are in the fact that they don’t cost anything.
2. Unclaimed prizes will not be redistributed, they will be returned to my office to think about what they did.
3. I cannot afford international postage.  If you are outside the US/Canada, you must state so in your entry.  If your name is drawn, you will be asked to pay postage. Sorry about that.
4. All posts automatically mirror to Dreamwidth.  For RNG reasons, comments left on Dreamwidth do not count as entries; you must enter via the root post on my blog (seananmcguire.com/blog) if you want to be eligible to win.
5. If you haven’t commented here before, your first comment will go into moderation, and be approved as soon as I see it. So if your comment does not appear, please don’t comment again. It still won’t work, until I manually approve you. I promise to approve before prizes are drawn.





So here.  We.  GO!





Our third prize this year is a copy of Backpacking Through Bedlam, an InCryptid novel. It will be signed, unless that you ask that it not be. To enter…





1. Comment on this post.
2. Name your favorite cryptid.
3. If you are outside the US/Canada, tell me so.





All winners will be selected at 12PT on January 5th.  So now, as the sages say…





…GAME ON!

seanan_mcguire: (Default)

…a signed copy of What if the Scarlet Witch and Peter Parker Were Siblings?





Hello, readers, writers, and terrifying couch gremlins, and welcome to the Thirteen Days of Hogswatch, the game where the points are made up but the rules really do matter.  This is our second giveaway for 2024, somewhat later than normal, but still happening, and now better aligned with the canonical dates of Hogswatch! I hope you’re all excited!  Here are a few things you should know:





1. Every post will have its own prize, and its own rules.  This is to filter out people linked here from the “hey, free stuff!” blogs, who are less interested in our prizes than they are in the fact that they don’t cost anything.
2. Unclaimed prizes will not be redistributed, they will be returned to my office to think about what they did.
3. I cannot afford international postage.  If you are outside the US/Canada, you must state so in your entry.  If your name is drawn, you will be asked to pay postage. Sorry about that.
4. All posts automatically mirror to Dreamwidth.  For RNG reasons, comments left on Dreamwidth do not count as entries; you must enter via the root post on my blog (seananmcguire.com/blog) if you want to be eligible to win.
5. If you haven’t commented here before, your first comment will go into moderation, and be approved as soon as I see it. So if your comment does not appear, please don’t comment again. It still won’t work, until I manually approve you. I promise to approve before prizes are drawn.





So here.  We.  GO!





Our second prize this year is a copy of my What-If novel for Marvel, What If the Scarlet Witch and Peter Parker Were Siblings? It will be signed, unless that you ask that it not be. To enter…





1. Comment on this post.
2. Name your favorite fictional witch.
3. If you are outside the US/Canada, tell me so.





All winners will be selected at 12PT on January 5th.  So now, as the sages say…





…GAME ON!

seanan_mcguire: (Default)

…a hand selected, unmatched dice set drawn from the cauldrons!





Hello, readers, writers, and terrifying couch gremlins, and welcome to the Thirteen Days of Hogswatch, the game where the points are made up but the rules really do matter.  This is our first giveaway for 2024, somewhat later than normal, but still happening, and now better aligned with the canonical dates of Hogswatch! I hope you’re all excited!  Here are a few things you should know:





1. Every post will have its own prize, and its own rules.  This is to filter out people linked here from the “hey, free stuff!” blogs, who are less interested in our prizes than they are in the fact that they don’t cost anything.
2. Unclaimed prizes will not be redistributed, they will be returned to my office to think about what they did.
3. I cannot afford international postage.  If you are outside the US/Canada, you must state so in your entry.  If your name is drawn, you will be asked to pay postage. Sorry about that.
4. All posts automatically mirror to Dreamwidth.  For RNG reasons, comments left on Dreamwidth do not count as entries; you must enter via the root post on my blog (seananmcguire.com/blog) if you want to be eligible to win.
5. If you haven’t commented here before, your first comment will go into moderation, and be approved as soon as I see it. So if your comment does not appear, please don’t comment again. It still won’t work, until I manually approve you. I promise to approve before prizes are drawn.





So here.  We.  GO!





Our first prize this year is a repeat from the last two years: a set of dice that I will select from my cauldrons of random dice.  It will come with a dice bag.  It will definitely not match.  It will also come with a signed bookplate, so you can identify where the dice came from.





1. Comment on this post.
2. Tell me your favorite color, and also what color you absolutely do not want me to include in your bag.
3. If you are outside the US/Canada, tell me so.





All winners will be selected at 12PT on January 5th.  So now, as the sages say…





…GAME ON!





seanan_mcguire: (Default)

For no mere mortal can survive the evil of the thriller.





I will now continue to dissect Duskmourn: House of Horrors alive and screaming, for your pleasure.  Because this is time-consuming, I only know people are enjoying it if they comment, and that means I really am holding future DVD extras hostage against comments. Sorry about that.





Welcome to the “DVD extras” for the final main story installment for Duskmourn: House of Horrors, “Don’t Die.”  This story is copyright Wizards of the Coast, although it was written by me, and can be found in its entirety here: https://magic.wizards.com/en/news/magic-story/episode-six-dont-die





Give them some clicks.  Convince them that you love me and I should get to keep writing things.  Seriously, though, please click the link, even if the story isn’t relevant to you.  Click-throughs are how Wizards knows that Story matters.





So what is this?  This is little excerpts of the story, with my thoughts on them, because, IDK, I thought it was funny.  I’ve also tried to include context for people new to Magic Story, to help you understand what the hell is going on.  If people continue to like it, I will probably continue.  If you don’t care about Magic Story, skip on over, although I’d still like it if you clicked.





And here we go!





As always, from this point on, plain text is bits from the story, italic text is my commentary on the same.





We’re at the end now.  This is why I said the finale was next in the extras for episode five, since I don’t control when the side stories are posted.





I don’t get to see the stories presented in their “natural setting” until you do, and so didn’t realize how choppy the transition between five and six would really be.  Basically, read as everyone having been knocked out again, and now waking up.





Drumming wasn’t really an art form in Meletis. Unlike so many other places on Theros, the drums of war had never been known to sound there; when there was a call to fight, it was set to the rhythm of pounding feet and clashing swords, not strikers on skins.





I really like calling back to where people, especially Planeswalkers or former-Planeswalkers, originally came from.  It’s a good way to keep us grounded in the multiverse, and to explain the various words I’ll use to describe their interactions with the environment.





Niko had nearly jumped out of their skin the first time they heard the drums of Kaldheim begin to pound, calling the people of the plane to war.





Niko is from Theros, but spent a long, long time on Kaldheim, all things considered.  They were there during the Invasion.  They have heard the drums of war.





They still couldn’t move their hands or feet. Those were tied securely to the chair they had been positioned upon, feet pressed to the hard stone floor and wrists affixed to one another with ropes of rough hemp that bit into their skin when they tried to move their arms. They were well and truly caught.





Being knocked out again gave the cultists an opportunity to tie everyone up nice and secure.





The Wanderer was tied up to their right, her arms and legs bound in a manner like Niko’s. There was a table a few feet beyond her, pushed up against the wall of the room they had all been moved to, and on it their weapons were arrayed, placed with ritualistic care. The wall itself was some sort of dark wood, raw enough to be weeping trails of red-gold sap that smelled of sugar and death.





The House ate all the forests.  It can get raw wood when it wants to.





The Wanderer’s eyes fluttered. Niko risked another glance around, taking in the rest of the room. There was a granite plinth at the center, roughly as tall as Niko’s waist, and a large stone altar against the far wall, streaked and stained with sap, and with blotches of something too dark to have come out of the walls. Niko shuddered.





Blood and sap, the secondary set title of this lovely house of horrors.





Those hard, angular chrysalises they had seen in the previous room were here as well, hanging around the top of the walls in nests of cottony white silk, twitching occasionally as their occupants stirred, either deep in dreaming or preparing to awake.





Niko didn’t want to be here when they hatched.





There’s  no one you want to talk to in those cocoons.  Note that the unnamed nezumi were also gone.  They didn’t have the connection with Tamiyo to attract Valgavoth’s mercy.  They were never the target.





There didn’t seem to be any slack in the ropes; Niko tugged to no avail before summoning a small shard, no longer than their pinkie finger, and beginning to saw at the ropes, making no real progress as the seconds ticked away. They glanced at Nashi again. His eyes were open, reflecting the dim, seemingly sourceless light that filled the room. He didn’t look frightened. More resigned to whatever was about to happen.





If Niko could throw the shard, they could use it to encompass the ropes, or one of their allies.  With their hands bound, they’re more limited than they like.





“Nashi?” asked Niko. “Are you all right?”





“They’re all gone,” said Nashi. His voice was dull, almost hollowed out.





“The cultists? That’s good. It gives us a few minutes to figure out what happens next.”





“No. My friends. My mother. They’re all gone.” Nashi gave them a suddenly fierce look. “I came in here with four of the Reckoners I knew from back home. They wouldn’t let me go alone. They were all smart, and fast, and dangerous, and they’re gone. This House took them, but I led them here. Without me, they’d be safe with their families, and none of this would be happening.”





Nashi isn’t wrong.  He’s also taking more of the blame on his shoulders than he deserves.  No wonder he still blames the Wanderer for Tamiyo’s death.  He’s been blaming himself.  This is also where I point out a math error: there should have been six Reckoners, not four.  My bad.





“You said they wouldn’t let you go alone. That means this isn’t your fault.”





“If I’m the reason, it’s my fault,” insisted Nashi. “When Mother’s scroll vanished, I just—I couldn’t refuse to follow her.”





He has a lot of work to do to learn how to deal with grieving.





“You followed her, and they followed you,” said Niko. “It sounds to me like the ones who stole your mother’s vessel are the ones to blame.”





“And joyously so,” said a new voice. Niko stiffened, turning their head as far as the ropes allowed in a vain attempt to see behind them. It didn’t work, but then, it didn’t need to, as almost immediately, the head cultist walked between them and the Wanderer, still carrying his book. “The moth is lured to the light, but the light is blameless. The moth is only doing what it must. Instinct and hunger control all things. Blessed be the threshold, blessed be the flame.”





The light is blameless.  Okay, creepy guy.  Go be creepy somewhere else, please.





A low murmuring broke out behind him, the other cultists echoing his words. Niko narrowed their eyes. They couldn’t tell whether Winter’s voice had been among the speakers.





Niko very much wants to kick Winter’s ass right about now.





“You are to receive a great benediction,” said the head cultist. He was an unimposing figure, soft-spoken and of barely medium height, his spectacles clouded by tiny scratches. He stopped between his captives and the plinth, opening his book. “Your knowledge will be added to the great list, and with it we will guide the Devouring Father to his next feasting place. All things will know the light of his attention.”





This is not turning down the creepy.





“Mother!” cried Nashi.





The shadow of Tamiyo turned her face away.





Tamiyo won’t even look at her son.  That’s probably not an awesome sign, all things being equal.





“You carry the dust of as many worlds as there are rooms in paradise,” said the head cultist, focusing on Niko. “Places that have not yet known the threshold, have not yet felt the flame. Through you, we will be led to them. Through you, our Father will be able to plant His foundations, and he will feast.”





Basically, he’s going to loot them for their knowledge of the Planes, and use that information to guide Valgavoth to his next targets.  Gee, that’s fun and not at all horrible.





“Stories are one thing, but to feast on the flesh of those who walked so very far—you are a blessing, and because this one,” he turned his attention on Nashi, smiling serenely, “called you to us, we will grant him the gift of rebirth. His cocoon has been prepared, and he will live eternally in the Devouring Father’s service.”





They’re going to straight-up kill and eat the various Planeswalkers and ex-Planeswalkers, and that sort of sucks for our cast.





“And what about me?” he demanded. “You promised me—”





“I promised you what I promised my Marina, so many years ago,” whispered a new voice. It was thin and wispy as the silk around the edges of the room, sliced into hundreds of layers that came together to form a terrible chorus. The pounding in Niko’s head fell silent, extinguished by the whispering. No other sound could survive where that voice spoke.





Enter Valgavoth.





“I promised you your heart’s desire,” continued the voice. A slow illumination dawned in the shadows above them, emanating from the body of what appeared to be an enormous moth spun from the fabric of nightmares. His wings were melded with the walls around him, their substance dipping in and out of the stone like it had grown up around him, and the sight of him was accompanied by a frigid, frozen cold that sank into Niko’s bones in an instant. The speaker turned his massive head, faceted eyes glinting as he looked solemnly at Winter.





Valgavoth is the House, and the House is Valgavoth.  It’s all down to what he’s paying attention to at any given moment in time.





“It’s you,” said Winter, tone caught between awe and horror.





Valgavoth didn’t have the lips to smile, but he still managed to seem pleased as he nodded, feathered antennae twitching in time with the gesture. He extended one fibrous tendril of his own substance toward his high priest, nudging the man. It wasn’t a kick. The priest still lifted his head and climbed to his feet, standing next to his god.





All moths are butterflies, but not all butterflies are moths.  The feathered antennae are the determining factor.  The more you know!





“Yes,” said Valgavoth. “You know me. You have known me since I called to you in the darkness, for here I am the only source of light. You are the first since my Marina to answer my call with a proper sacrifice.”





“Yes,” whispered Winter.





Valgavoth offered to give Winter whatever he wanted in exchange for four lives sacrificed to the House.  Marina did the same, and doomed a Plane.  Winter is more ambitious.  He’s dooming the multiverse.  Good job, Winter!





“Four lives to secure your heart’s desire. Four thresholds for me to cross.”





Niko’s head snapped up. “The friend you told me about in the woods,” they said, making no effort to keep their voice low. “The one who’s gone now. Your best friend.”





“What about her?” asked Winter.





“There are only three of us.”





Good job, Niko.





Winter was silent.





“You sacrificed her to a monster for your own heart’s desire.”





“You’d do the same,” said Winter. “Spend enough time lost in Duskmourn, and there’s nothing you wouldn’t do to find your freedom.”





Winter wanted out so badly that he gave the person he loved most over to a monster, and it wasn’t enough.  He just wanted to go home.





“Lies,” snapped the Wanderer.





“Truth,” said Winter. “When all hope is gone, only the truth remains.” He returned his focus to Valgavoth. “I would have given anything to finally get out, so I gave something better.”





“What?” asked Niko.





“I gave everything. Now let me go.”





I just really think “I gave everything” is a banger line, and I hate that it’s buried in the middle of this scene, so I’m bringing it to everyone’s attention.





This door was made of the same cherry wood as the others, the frame carved with moths and harvest wreaths, a full moon where the peephole should have been, the traceries of tentacles peeking out from around its edges. Winter looked at it like a starving man faced with a feast but didn’t move. He looked to Valgavoth instead.





Behold the door to Innistrad.  After Duskmourn, it’s a paradise Plane.





“I can go?” he asked. “You promise?”





“I keep my word,” said Valgavoth. Winter rushed toward the door. Too quickly—he tripped on a crack in the floor and fell heavily, landing on hands and knees. Neither Valgavoth nor the cultists moved to help him as he pushed himself to his feet. They only watched, silently judgmental.





They aren’t going to stop him, but they won’t help him, either.





Niko strained against their bonds. They were still as tight as they had been in the beginning and showed no signs of slackening. From behind them, they heard the distinctive sound of wood slamming into flesh, accompanied by a yelp, and then a familiar voice drowned out everything else, as Tyvar boomed, “Bad form, to start the battle without us!”





Tyvar Kel, only person who’s actually having any fun here.  Duskmourn has been like a trip to a whack-a-mole arcade for our big bruiser boy, and he’d be happy to come back for another round.





A cultist flew past Niko to smash into the wall, clearly having been flung across the room, and a terrible figure appeared next to them. It was shaped like Zimone, but unlike Zimone, it had skin made of water-damaged, splintered wood and rusting nails in place of teeth. It reached for them with its horrible hands, fingers like crooked hinges and palms like broken shingles, and Niko tried to shy away, moving as far as the ropes would allow.





Seeing a transformed Zimone when you’re not expecting it has got to be horrific.  But she’s just trying to help.





Another cultist flew across the room, as the air behind them was shattered by shouts and peals of laughter. Tyvar, it seemed, was still having the time of his life. “At least someone’s having a good day,” muttered Niko.





Zimone offered them a horrible smile, the expression rendered nightmarish by the unfamiliar angles of her face. “I don’t think he knows how to have a bad day for very long,” she said.





Tyvar is here to give other people bad days, not to have bad days himself.





The ropes on Niko’s wrists loosened, and they pulled their hands free, whipping two shards out of the air and flinging them at the Wanderer. They sliced through the ropes holding her arms and legs to the chair, and she rolled out of the chair to the floor. Niko was ready with another shard, cutting her hands free as Zimone worked on the ropes holding their legs to the chair. The Wanderer stepped quickly and lightly over to the table with their weapons, recovering her sword.





Niko cut the Wanderer’s legs free, but had yet to free their own.  Zimone is thankfully very helpful here, as they go into a major boss battle and need every hand they can get.





Just in time: Valgavoth had stopped roaring and was spewing clouds of acidic white webbing into the air. The Wanderer sliced easily through the webs as she virtually danced across the floor to Nashi, cutting him free and pressing a small, hard object into his hand. “You can change your fate,” she whispered, and then she was gone, charging toward the body of the massive demon moth.





Nashi finally has his fateshifter.





Winter tried for the door a third time, only for one of Niko’s shards to hit him squarely in the back and envelop him, sealing him away from the freedom he’d so craved. Niko glanced back to the sounds of the ongoing brawl.





Sorry, Winter.  No Innistrad for you.





Tyvar was holding his own against a half-dozen cultists, skin rippling from flesh to stone and back again so quickly that it was almost like watching a cloud skate across the sun. He was laughing. Niko turned back to Zimone.





Just dancing in and out of his camouflage, with brief stops on other types of stone.  He is having way too much fun here.





A cultist grabbed for her, and she slashed at him with hinged fingers, slicing through his cheek and driving him back, his face gushing blood. She moved toward Tyvar, pulling the box from Niv-Mizzet around in front of her and beginning to rapidly flip switches. Once she was close enough, Tyvar touched her shoulder, and the normal composition of her body came flooding back, chasing the temporary horrors away.





When Tyvar has you transmuted into something other than yourself, his magic suppresses your own.  By dropping Zimone’s camouflage, he allowed her to use her own magic again.





The box immediately spilled a geometric cascade of blue and green lines into the air. They wrapped themselves around the nearest cultist and raced across his skin, multiplying exponentially, until he was swallowed by the light.





“Good capture!” shouted Tyvar encouragingly.





“I was top of my class in theoretical combat math,” said Zimone.





I just love the idea of theoretical combat math.  Not too theoretical once you get the Quandrix involved.





She pulled another cascade of lines from the box, lobbing it carelessly at Tyvar. When it struck his skin, it began to lace together into a sort of knotted armor, which deflected the next blow that would have hit him. Tyvar blinked, then beamed.





Tyvar doesn’t necessarily need armor, but he’s happy to let a friend help him out.





“Behold the power of math!” he proclaimed, turning and punching the cultist squarely in the face.





And this is my favorite line from this episode.





Valgavoth roared. The Wanderer had leapt up onto the stone altar, and was dueling the massive demon moth, slicing through his clouds of caustic webbing, blocking his attempts to strike her with clawed limbs. Her sword didn’t cut through his deceptively spindly legs, but did knock them away from her, and as it absorbed more and more of the energy from his strikes, the blade began to glow a brilliant, blazing white.





The Wanderer can absorb kinetic energy and use it to enhance her own attacks.  She’s sort of terrifying in any fight that lasts more than a few hits.





“They’ve been stealing my stories, Nashi,” she said. “Taking them apart and taking them away. I don’t remember the things they stole from me. But I remember you. I will always, always remember you.”





Every time the cultists forced her to tell them a story, she lost it.  It was like they were ripping pages out of the book she had become.  But Nashi was a target—they wanted him—so they didn’t take him away.  Yet.





“Those stories were what let me exist in this form. They were my blood and breath and bones after all those things were lost, and now they’ve been taken. The people who took me have me connected to this ghost-trap to keep me here—that is the only thing keeping me here, Nashi. They are the only thing keeping me here. You can’t save me this time.”





It’s time to rest.





“Oh, my sweetest boy, there are stories whose endings can be changed, and those that can’t. My ending was written years ago. Your mother—your real mother—loved you so, so much, Nashi, she loved you so much that the story of her love is one of the only ones I haven’t forgotten. When they tried to take it, they found that without it, the rest of me would unravel and fade away immediately. They made me call out to you, Nashi, because you were the story that hung in my heart. They made me lure you here, hunters trapping the moon, and I am sorry. I am so, so sorry.”





This is not Tamiyo’s echo saying that Tamiyo wasn’t his real mother because he was adopted.  It’s her saying that Tamiyo was his real mother, and she is not.  “Hunters trapping the moon” is both a reference to the fact that she’s one of the moonfolk, and to the imprisonment of Emrakul on Innistrad.





“You can’t save me, but you don’t need to. You don’t need me, Nashi, not anymore. Look at what you’ve accomplished! You made a hero’s charge into the heart of a demon house to save the unsavable. And look at the people who came to help you, simply because you needed it. You are more loved than you can know. Now go, Nashi. Go, and be as spectacular as she always knew you would be.”





Let go and move on: live.





Nashi held up the small object the Wanderer had pressed into his hand. “She told me I could change my fate. She told me … I could …”





The fateshifters don’t work that way.





“No, my love. It doesn’t reach back far enough for that. My book is closed; my tale is done. I only ask one thing more from you.”





But how does Tamiyo know that?





“What?”





“Let me go.”





Nashi stared at her, silent and horrified.





She’s asking him to let her die.  Again.





“I still have stories they could steal from me. Please, love, please. Let me go, so the work that was my life won’t be turned to evil any longer. Free me, dear one. Free me.”





For her it’s not death, it’s keeping Tamiyo’s legacy from being further corrupted by the horrors of the House.  She knows it’s unreasonable; she still wants it.





Niko was fighting their way to the door, flinging shards into the bodies of cultists and stepping over those Tyvar had already felled. Tyvar was still swinging with reckless abandon, finally in his element as he battled the seemingly endless hoard. Zimone followed close behind him, guarding his back with her magic and machine.





Niko, grim, wants to go.  Tyvar, really enjoying this boss fight.  Zimone, enjoying the scary dog privilege of fighting back to back with someone who’s perfectly willing to have a go at punching out a functional god.  Everything is awful.





Valgavoth roared, wings flexing. The walls shuddered, and cellarspawn and nightmares spilled out of them, pouring into the room. Tyvar grabbed Zimone, and the horror of the House swept over her again, transforming her. The magic stopped spilling from her box. She shot Tyvar a wounded look.





Forcibly transforming her cut off the magic she was channeling, but it also made her more physically resistant to taking a hit.  He’s trying to balance safety and autonomy.





“It’s the only way to keep you safe,” he explained.





“None of us are safe,” snapped Zimone.





“True enough,” said Tyvar, and turned to beat back the nightmare squid creature that had been flowing toward them, tentacles grasping at the air.





Note that he didn’t take the transformation away.





Niko grabbed for the doorknob—an unknown plane would be better than this. They could find an Omenpath to get them out. Valgavoth roared again, and the door was gone, falling to dust under Niko’s fingers. They lifted their head to glare at the enormous moth demon, readying another shard.





Niko has never been to Innistrad, and had Valgavoth not removed the door, they would have been rudely disillusioned.





“For the threshold!” shouted the cultist and stabbed ruthlessly down.





The vocabulary of the cultists is all about doorways and moth stuff.  It’s fun to explore.





Niko felt the blade pierce their eye and continue through the thin barrier of their skull, slicing through muscle and bone with equal ease, until it penetrated the tissue of Niko’s brain, disrupting thought and slicing memory away, until all was dark, and silence, and they were dying so far from Theros, they would never see the underworld, they would never reach the afterlife—





Poor Niko.  They really don’t know if they want to go home, but they’re pretty sure they don’t want to die anywhere but Theros.





The world snapped like a tightened bowstring, and Niko was looking up at Valgavoth. They danced away before the cultist could grab them, slinging a shard that encased the man in gleaming magic. They were readying two more when they were grabbed from behind, yanked off balance.





And there’s the fateshift we’ve all been waiting for.





With a roar of triumphant fury, Valgavoth ripped one wing partially out of the wall, knocking the Wanderer to the ground before it was pulled back into the wood and stone. He pushed her fallen sword away with a tendril, the ceiling seeming to dip to the floor as he leaned closer to address her.





The House is a prison as much as it is a paradise.





“I will swallow everything you are, and I will unmake your world in my own image,” he hissed, voice suddenly soft. “You lose.”





Now he explicitly wants to hurt Kamigawa.  And we know he knows how to open doors there.  Okay, that’s not great.





“So do you!” yelled Nashi. Valgavoth looked at the young nezumi just in time to see him reach into the ghost-trap and lift Tamiyo’s scroll free. She smiled at him, tears running down her translucent face, before she dissolved into moonlight and was gone.





Yes, Nashi has done as the Tamiyo echo asked, and let her go.





“We don’t need her,” said Valgavoth. He turned his attention back to the pinned and struggling Wanderer. “Now I have all of you.”





He opened his mouth, revealing a maw filled with teeth like broken needles and shards of glass, then leaned toward the Wanderer again, preparing to bite down.





Valgavoth just needs to eat them and he’ll have everything they are.  Not great.





There was a glimmer of blue-white light from the wall behind him, noticeable only because it was so out of place, and Valgavoth froze. He made a small choking sound and straightened again, filling the entire world. The House went still around him. He looked down at his chest. The blade of a katana protruded from it, glistening with ichor and hemolymph, glowing with bluish magical light.





Blue-white light.  Where have we seen that description before?  Oh, maybe in the hands of a formerly Azorius detective who can make exact duplicates of things he’s seen.  Like doors.





The blade withdrew, leaving a leaking wound behind, and Valgavoth was jerked up as the webbing which supported him drew taut and yanked him toward the ceiling. The great demon’s removal revealed Kaito, holding his katana in both hands and breathing heavily. Behind him on the wall was a door formed from blue-white light; the frame was covered in a pattern of interlacing triangles, stylized dragons, and tiny moths that somehow invoked hope, where the moths scattered throughout the House invoked only despair. The entire pattern blazed brightly, beating back the gloom.





The door is meant to invoke Kaito—the dragons—Proft—the interlacing triangles, very similar to the Azorius guild seal—and Aminatou—the moths of hope, rather than despair.





The door slammed abruptly open, revealing a short hall on the other side, connecting to a second door. Proft appeared in the entryway, gesturing violently.





“Through here!” he shouted. “I can’t hold this for long!”





Yeah, even for Proft, spanning the Blind Eternities is a little bit of a stretch, and he doesn’t want to keep it up any longer than he absolutely has to.





They were almost there when a nightmare lashed out, clawed hand arcing toward Tyvar’s head. Zimone screamed. Half a dozen shuriken slammed into the hand, then pulled themselves free and flew back to Kaito, reassembling into his sword as he nodded to Tyvar and stepped through the door.





Kaito saves the day!





“Hurry, hurry,” said Proft, gesturing for the others to move quickly down the short hall. “This space isn’t exactly stable.”





Understatement of the episode.





“What is it?” asked Niko.





“An artificial Omenpath,” said Kaito. “My spark, Proft’s mind magic, Aminatou’s fate-twisting, and a piece of the House that I took with me when I had to planeswalk away. As soon as Proft lets it go, it will dissolve back into the Blind Eternities and be lost. I’d rather we not be lost with it.”





Basically, this is not a repeatable get out of jail free card.  It took a very specific set of circumstances that we spent the whole story slotting into place.





Nashi stopped walking.





That can’t be good.





Nashi looked at the empty scroll in his hands. “Your body is on Kamigawa, with us,” he told it. “But your spirit belongs to the Blind Eternities. I know that. I hope you can rest now. I hope you know you did the right thing. Your story’s done, but mine’s just starting. I love you.”





He put the scroll down on the hallway floor and ran after the others, stepping with them out into the light of the Ravnican afternoon.





Letting Nashi lay his mother’s spirit successfully to rest was an important overall goal for this story, and one I’m truly glad he was able to earn and accomplish.





“You can put me down now,” said Zimone.





“Sorry,” said Tyvar, unrepentantly.





He is going to Protect His Mathematician.





“Tyvar, what are you wearing?” asked Kaito.





Tyvar looked at his vest, then shrugged. “Zimone said it would help me hide within the House. But there’s no need for hiding now.”





I’m glad someone pointed out the vest.





He shrugged out of the vest, looking to where the Wanderer and Kaito were standing with Nashi and Aminatou, Yoshimaru dancing around them in the ecstasy of reunion, his plumed tail waving wildly.





“It seems all has been revealed,” said Tyvar, almost philosophically.





Yoshimaru gets his girl again, and all is right with the world.





The wound in the great demon’s chest was still oozing viscous, unspeakable fluids, and Valgavoth hissed. He would need to feed, then return to his cocoon to heal. Life would renew him, and the stories his faithful had harvested would set anchors for his questing lures. All he needed was patience, and the prey would come. The prey always came.





The Survivors are going to pay for what happened here.





And not all of his prizes had escaped him. He reached into the attic above him, wrapping a tendril around a squirming, shivering bundle of orange fur and pulling it down into view. The creature snarled and bared its teeth. Valgavoth gave it a good shake, until it stopped trying to threaten him. This thing was valuable. It would serve him well.





So Valgavoth still has Loot.  That’s,..probably not good.





Soon enough. Right now, he needed to stem the bleeding. He looked around the chamber, seeking a cultist with even a flicker of life remaining, and paused at the sight of Winter, huddled against the wall where the door to the cursed moon’s benighted land had been opened and abandoned. The man was loose, somehow, and unarmed. He would do well.





Valgavoth knew exactly what he was doing when he tried to send Winter to Innistrad.





“I promised you freedom,” said Valgavoth, in a voice like the creaking of an ancient foundation, heavy and old. “I will give you freedom. Of a kind.”





Pulling Winter higher to his leaking, punctured chest, Valgavoth melted into the ceiling, and all in the House was silence.





So Winter’s probably not dead, right?  Right?





The Wanderer stood on the edge of the courtyard, Yoshimaru to one side, Kaito to the other, watching as Nashi spun the story of their adventures to a crowd of rapt youngsters. “He has a gift,” said the Wanderer.





“Yes, he does,” said Kaito. “None of these kids are going to go opening mysterious doors.”





Eyes glinting with mischief, the Wanderer looked at him. “Would a little horror story have stopped you, back in the day?”





Nashi getting to tell stories to kids and help them not get eaten by Duskmourn is about as happy an ending as he could have gotten under the circumstances.





Nashi glanced around, smiling at the pair, then returned to his story. Yoshimaru pranced in place, tail wagging, then lit out across the courtyard to the group of children, flopping to the grass next to Aminatou, who ruffled his fur with one hand as she continued to listen.





Aminatou gets to be a kid.  That’s wonderful for her.





The others had gone with Zimone back to Strixhaven; Tyvar and Niko had seemed excited about the prospect of a game called “Mage Tower.” For a moment, they could pretend that everything was right in the Multiverse. That everything was okay.





Niko and Tyvar are going to kill at Mage Tower.  Possibly literally.





At the very least, it was a beautiful day on Kamigawa.





And everything is okay.  Honest.





With Niv-Mizzet’s mapping project finished and the Omenpaths largely secured, Proft and Etrata had been freed back to their normal duties, which for Proft meant late nights in his mental recreation of his idealized office, studying the evidence of his latest case.





The mapping project is never truly finished, but Niv-Mizzet can get enough nailed down that he’s pretty confident about what’s going on, and that he controls all the Omenpaths on Ravnica.  That’s enough, right?





A flawless recreation of a broken statue was laid out in front of him in shimmering blue pieces, positioned like a jigsaw puzzle with several pieces missing, precisely as he had seen it earlier that day.





Proft, if you don’t know him, is one of the main characters of the Murders at Karlov Manor story, and I highly recommend giving it a read.





Even more slowly than it had appeared, the door swung open, and a cool wind blew through the office. Proft stiffened.





Proft touched Valgavoth.  That means Valgavoth knows how to touch him back.





When he looked around, there was nothing there.





Next up, the post-mortem on this set story.  See you there!

seanan_mcguire: (Default)

And though you fight to stay alive…





I will now continue to dissect Duskmourn: House of Horrors alive and screaming, for your pleasure.  Because this is time-consuming, I only know people are enjoying it if they comment, and that means I really am holding future DVD extras hostage against comments. Sorry about that.





Welcome to the “DVD extras” for the fifth episode of the main story for Duskmourn: House of Horrors, “Don’t Give In.”  This story is copyright Wizards of the Coast, although it was written by me, and can be found in its entirety here: https://magic.wizards.com/en/news/magic-story/episode-five-dont-give-in





Give them some clicks.  Convince them that you love me and I should get to keep writing things.  Seriously, though, please click the link, even if the story isn’t relevant to you.  Click-throughs are how Wizards knows that Story matters.





So what is this?  This is little excerpts of the story, with my thoughts on them, because, IDK, I thought it was funny.  I’ve also tried to include context for people new to Magic Story, to help you understand what the hell is going on.  If people continue to like it, I will probably continue.  If you don’t care about Magic Story, skip on over, although I’d still like it if you clicked.





And here we go!





As always, from this point on, plain text is bits from the story, italic text is my commentary on the same.





To Tyvar’s transmutation magic, the substance of the floor and walls was identical to the flesh of the monster that had attacked them. It was unnerving to think they were walking through the body of something alive and hostile.





You want horror?  Okay, you’re walking through the body of a Plane-spanning nightmare beast.  Hope you’ll sleep all right tonight!





Still, as Tyvar wrapped them in the body of the House, they were able to cross rooms and navigate halls without being attacked. He dropped the camouflage whenever either of them started to feel unfamiliar emotions tugging at the back of their minds, keeping them free from the transformation.





A few people have expressed surprise at this application of Tyvar’s powers.  He’s actually done this before, during the Phyrexia: All Will Be One story, when he turned the entire party briefly into hexgold in order to get them into the seedcore.  This isn’t a new deus ex machine for him, it’s how he’s always worked.





“During the assault on New Phyrexia, I watched many of my allies lose themselves forever,” he said, voice hollow. “Upon my return home, to my fair Kaldheim, I saw that same fate befall too many. I saw the World Tree burn. Koma, who I had revered, whose favor I had sought, fell to that cruel transformation. I felt it spread, across two worlds, and I know what the process feels like to the magic of my own changes. I simply wait to feel like the world is ending, and when it does, I let the magic go.”





Tyvar is just as messed up by Phyrexia as the rest of the strike team.  He just does a marginally better job of hiding it.





“I’m sorry,” said Zimone. “I didn’t mean to—”





“But, we should be moving along,” he said, jovial once more. He put one hand against the wall and the other on her shoulder, and the flesh of the House flowed over them, and sorrow and grief and loss were suddenly far away, hidden behind a veil of nightmares.





Tyvar doesn’t dwell.  Tyvar moves on!  I make a lot of jokes about him being a therapy elf for other former Planeswalkers (and current ones who need a fishing vacation), but who will be a therapy friend for Tyvar?





Tyvar flickered their concealment off and then on again, buying them time, and they moved on, into an impossible room:





It was large and cozy, outfitted with several small couches and large, overstuffed chairs, the styles of furnishing apparently chosen to blur the lines between the two. Shelves lined the walls, filled with a mixture of books and knickknacks, and pleasant pictures hung on the cream-colored walls. There were no strange smells or unlikely shadows, no bloodstains or nightmares. It was just … pleasant, the sort of place either of them would have been perfectly willing to doze an afternoon away.





I love that after less than a full day inside House, they look at a normal room that doesn’t want to kill them as somehow impossible.





Sunlight streamed through the two closed windows, bathing the teenage girl who sat on one of the larger couches, a diary open on her knee.





Marina!





Zimone gasped, grabbing Tyvar’s arm in her surprise. He turned to look at her, frowning slightly.





“I know her,” whispered Zimone. “She was in the picture that I found in the first parlor, all the way back when we first came inside! But that picture was very old … she’s younger than I am. How …” She fumbled for her detector, raising and sweeping it in front of her like she was scanning the area. “There’s no active time magic here. How can she be younger than I am?”





Confirmation that House can bend time?  It would explain how Nashi and the nezumi were still alive to be found, if House can distort the passage of time inside its own walls.





“Perhaps she’s a ghost?” suggested Tyvar. “A spirit of some sort? She doesn’t seem to be aware of our presence, and even wrapped in the body of this house, I’m difficult to overlook.”





Zimone looked at him unbelievingly. “Are you bragging about how hot you are? Like, right now?”





“I am simply stating facts—and look. She’s leaving.”





Tyvar.  Timing.





The girl, who still hadn’t noticed them, rose, taking drink and diary with her as she left the room. The transformation was terrible and swift. Clouds immediately choked the sky outside, swallowing the sunlight; the wallpaper began to peel; and as the curtains slithered shut across the now-dark windows, blood began to bubble from the floor, marking her footprints.





The pleasant room and all its accoutrements are a gift from Valgavoth to Marina.  If she leaves, so do they.





“I think I understand,” she said, slowly. “Whatever she is, she’s repelling the House. It can’t touch her. I just don’t know why—and I think that’s why she can’t see us. If the House can’t attack her in this room, we should be safe here. Let the transmutation go.”





If Marina is unaware of the horrors of the House, it only follows that being disguised as House would make you entirely invisible to her.  Zimone is on the right track here.





The girl turned, seeming to see them for the first time. Confronted with a strange woman wearing unfamiliar clothing and carrying a boxy scanner, and a shirtless, barefoot elf, she did the only reasonable thing: she dropped her drink and screamed.





Marina is fairly logical.





“What are you doing in my house?” demanded the girl.





“Wandering lost, trying to evade an almost certain death, and searching for our friends, who were separated from us by a maliciously appearing wall,” said Tyvar.





The girl just looked more confused.





Tyvar has that affect on people.





“Marina,” said the girl. “Marina Vendrell. Unless you’re here to kill me, and then I’m about to run outside to scream for the watch.”





“A lovely name,” said Tyvar. “Both of them. I am Tyvar Kell, prince of Skemfar. We aren’t here to kill you. May we speak?”





I’m not sure it comes through properly, but the joke here was supposed to be that both names—Marina and about to run outside and scream for the watch—were lovely, not that Marina and Vendrell were both lovely names.  Sorry to explain the joke, but I fret about these things.





“What do you mean, what happened to the house?” Marina frowned, apparently confused. “It’s the house, same as it’s always been. Are you all right?”





“The House has always had monsters popping out of its walls and trying to eat people?” asked Zimone, horrified.





Marina stared at her. “What? No!”





Two people in different genres having a conversation means you have many opportunities for hilarious misunderstanding.





“Oh, you mean An Architectural Accounting? That was started by the last person to live here. Bit of a weirdo, by all accounts—she felt a house should be treated with the respect you would show a living thing. She lived here for many years. Died here, too. When we bought the place, the realtor asked us to update it—it was one of the conditions of sale, that we keep the book current with our occupancy. Mom and Dad thought it was silly, but I thought it was sort of sweet. Everything deserves to be respected for its place in the world.”





So clearly the previous owner summoned Valgavoth, and bound him to the House, believing that a clear record would somehow absolve her.  Um, not so much.





“Was that the one with the academically unpleasant magic annotated in the margins?” asked Tyvar.





Marina flushed red. “I was just taking notes,” she said.





Oh, dear.  No absolution here…





While the square of floor directly under her feet remained unchanged, the rest of the room began to warp and twist, the walls opening into holes from which crawled pustulant nightmare beasts, their long, multijointed limbs reaching for Tyvar and Zimone. Zimone took a sharp step toward Marina, reaching for the girl, only to be stopped by Tyvar grabbing hold of the back of her shirt. He ran, pulling her with him.





Tyvar stands his ground when he can, but he’s not shy about running when standing his ground is a bad idea.





“The House protects her,” said Tyvar.





“Looks like it,” said Zimone. “She has something to do with whatever happened here, I know she does. And we have the proof.”





Tyvar frowned. “Proof?”





Zimone held up the small, tattered book she had grabbed before being pulled out of the conservatory.





“I got her diary,” she said.





Zimone!  You little…okay, that was really smart, but still!  You little sneak!





“Normally, I would view this as a massive invasion of privacy,” said Zimone. It had taken them three rooms to find an unbroken table where they could settle to review her find. “I looked at Rootha’s diary once, and she went on this whole little monologue about how easily people burn. I’m not even sure she was trying to scare me by the end. She was mostly just reassuring herself, and fire keeps her calm. Anyway, diaries are supposed to be top secret, don’t look, not ever, but I think our circumstances are a little unique.”





Rootha is one of Zimone’s school friends on Arcavios.  She belongs to the Prismari College of artistic explosions and big beautiful booms.  She’s an orc, and she’s delightful, and reading her diary is not a great idea.





“Do you have diaries on Kaldheim?”





“Among my people, if a thing is not meant to be repeated, it should not be written down,” he said. “Stories and sagas are for sharing, and secrets are for swallowing, to keep them safe from other eyes.”





The written records on Kaldheim leave a lot out.





Marina’s handwriting was crisp and reasonably clear. Zimone began to read.





I don’t want to move, but what I want doesn’t matter, because we’re moving. It’s “better for Dad’s work,” and I’ll be going to “a great new school” where they’re sure I’ll make “so many wonderful new friends.”





Yeah. Because sixteen years in our old neighborhood with only the other weirdos to show for it absolutely has me primed to be the social butterfly of a new scholastic environment. I’m more of a social moth. Stick to the shadows, stay out of the way, and hope I don’t get swatted before I can find a lantern to immolate myself on. Not like they’d notice, which, as much as they’re trying to pretend I’m not here 





For the sake of clarity, since Marina’s diary is presented in italics in the story, I’m putting it here as bold italics, to differentiate it from my commentary.  This really is the start of a 1980s horror movie.  The “social moth” comment is just a coincidence; Valgavoth was already on the Plane, and already moth-themed, but it probably made her like him more, at least initially.





The presence I felt in the basement when we first moved in, I felt it again, so I went down to see what I could find. This time, it talked to me! His name is Valgavoth—Val—and he was summoned here and bound by one of the owners before us.





Val.  A friendly nickname for a friendly guy.





They thought he would be like the little service spirits people call to do simple tasks, and when they realized how big he was, how powerful, they panicked and ran, but they didn’t release him. He’s been here this whole time, alone. He says he can give me a list of books that might help me figure out how to free him 





They summoned something too large to power their hot water heater, and then when he got scary at them, they left.  He’s playing nicely with Marina at this point.  Maybe he genuinely likes her, or maybe he thinks she’s something useful he can easily exploit.  The world may never know.





“And I think this is where she started doing the academically questionable research,” said Zimone. “There’s some really dense stuff here, about demonology and necromancy and spirit-binding, and it all adds up to bad news. But this Valgavoth was captive, and for the House to be this active, he must still be here.”





I love the “academically questionable research” angle so much.  Maybe I’m overly pleased with myself for being clever.  I don’t know.





“Even now?” asked Tyvar, seemingly enthralled. “Read on, skald, and tell me the tale.”





“You’re very weird,” said Zimone.





That’s right, Zimone: he is very weird.  Sometimes keeping Tyvar sounding like he’s come from a high-Norse-mythology world without sounding like the Mighty Thor can be difficult.





I read the books, and I think I could let him go, but I … I don’t really want to anymore. School’s still awful, and maybe it’s mean of me, but Val is the only real friend I’ve made since we moved here. I don’t want to lose him. Also, he’s been locked up for a long, long time, and he’s pretty mad about it, even though he tries to pretend he’s not when we’re talking. I think if I let him out, he might hurt a lot of people before he leaves. I don’t want to hurt a lot of people.





Marina could have released Val, but didn’t because he might hurt people in the process of leaving.  So instead she kept him until he ate the whole world.  Much better call, Marina.  Big gold star for you.





Tyvar nodded, dropping the transmutation. The crushing weight of the House’s regard rushed back in, and after a moment, Zimone said:





“Okay, put it back. I don’t want to keep reading while the House can see us.”





Zimone is being very tactical here.  The idea that the regard of the House has weight and presence is very horror movie atmospheric.





Today was the worst day yet. Some of the girls in my necrobiology class decided to corner me after class and they—





What they—called me—pushed me—the wall.





This was clearly a high magic world that just looked like 1980s America.  Convergent evolution!  But this wasn’t another Innistrad.





Val says he can make them pay for what they did. He can make them suffer. I don’t care anymore. I can’t live like this.





I’ll invite them over tomorrow after school.





Bullies bully girl with a demon for a best friend, girl snaps, girl decides her best friend can have the bullies after all.  This was the moment that doomed a Plane.





What have I done?





He took them. Hands reached out of the walls and grabbed them, and they were screaming and screaming and changing, like he was moving underneath their skin, and then they stopped screaming and he pulled them into the walls and they were gone. Nothing left at all.





Marina wasn’t intending to perform a human sacrifice, but she did.  Sorry, bullies.





Zimone looked up. “Oh, no.”





She turned to the next entry:





The houses to either side are gone, and our house is bigger now. I think Val is the house, somehow, after all this time, and he’s hungry and he’s angry and I gave him the power to start eating the world around him. I can’t let this go on. I have to talk to him. I have to find a way to save myself, to save my parents. Maybe I can’t save the world, but I don’t have to be entirely a monster, do I?





It’s not too late.





So she fed Val her bullies, and Val used the power of the sacrifice to begin consuming the world.  This was the birth of House, a vast cocoon for an unspeakable demon moth.  Marina wasn’t a bad kid, but she was inherently selfish, and neglected, and afraid.  Everything unfolded from there.





Zimone closed the diary, staring at the wall as she set it to the side. “Those rituals she was researching … with the power from four people’s lives, Valgavoth would have been able to expand his reach exponentially. Trap more people inside himself, and then do it again, and again, and again. Until there was nothing left outside.”





“What do you mean?”





“I don’t think there’s a plane left outside the House.” Zimone turned to look at Tyvar, face strange under her mask of horror-house, eyes wide and terrified. “I think at this point, mathematically speaking, Valgavoth is all.”





We already knew this, or at least Niko and the Wanderer knew this, but for Zimone, confirming it mathematically is a big and horrifying deal.  Let’s let her have a moment.





Niko shuddered at the sight of an earthen mound studded with bones and surrounded by trees, so like the cairns of Kaldheim, so unlike the tombs of Theros. The differences didn’t matter. They looked at the similarities, and they knew a graveyard when they saw one.





Someone must be burying the bones, or the floors would crunch in a really unpleasant way.





Even in the “outside,” the House continued to haunt them. Screaming faces were etched in the bark of looming trees—and after the wickerfolk, it was impossible to say whether the trees screamed because they had grown that way, or because they had once been survivors and were still intelligent and aware of their frozen fates. The brush that rose from the hillside in stunted clusters was suspiciously bony, giving the impression that it might close on a foot or snag a hem at any moment.





This was not a good place, no matter how fresh the air seemed, or how merrily the rivers ran.





Trying to invoke the horrors in the pretty pastoral setting was a fun challenge, and I enjoyed it.





“My mother has been calling me from this direction,” said Nashi. “I know we’re in the right place.”





“But—”





“You don’t have to come. I didn’t ask you to follow me here.”





Nashi is still willing to shrug off his unwanted aids at the slightest provocation.





“We’re going with you, whatever that means,” said the Wanderer. She shot Winter a challenging look.





“The Cult of Valgavoth,” said Winter. “They claim Duskmourn was created by an entity summoned by their ancestors, one who took root in this House and grew to swallow everything. The demon called Valgavoth is as trapped here as the rest of us, but he doesn’t mind so much anymore, since he eats well. This is a perfect feeding ground for something like him, fertile and flourishing. The cult hunts survivors, both the ones who were born here and the people like me and my friends—or you. They catch us when they can, and drag us away to either be converted or given to Valgavoth. Either way, the ones they capture never come back.”





So this is fine.





“They sound like charming people.”





“They’re not.”





“I was being sarcastic.”





“I know.”





“Then why—” Niko caught themself, shaking their head. “Never mind. This cult is bad news, then?”





“The very worst,” said Winter direly.





I just love this exchange.





“You’ll see,” said Winter. He sighed. “I was hoping it would take us longer to encounter them.”





“So, you knew we’d encounter them.”





“They’re inevitable in Duskmourn. They, like their Devouring Father, are everywhere.”





What an interesting way to talk about Valgavoth.  “The Devouring Father.”  Sounds a little reverent, doesn’t it?





There were no patches. No stains. They had the luxury of caring for themselves in a way that Winter never had, and by extension, the rest of the survivors wandering the House would have been denied. In this place, cleanliness was virtually a declaration of power.





How do you make the white-aligned faction unnerving?  Oh, there are ways…





Chrysalises hung around the edges of the room, hard, angular things that gave the impression of natural and unnatural geometry at the same time, like they were shaped from platonic solids dredged out of another dimension. They were painted in shades of green and brown, and as Niko watched, one of them twitched, moved by something from inside. It was unsettling. It hurt their eyes to look at for too long.





The Cult puts their converts in cocoons to finish the transition in their loyalties.  It may not be as physically flashy as becoming Wickerfolk or something, but it’s effective.





Three people in clothing more like Winter’s were bound at the center of the room, struggling weakly against the ropes that held them. One had a vicious-looking gash on her leg, cutting through layers of fabric to the flesh beneath; the other two appeared to be unharmed. One of the robed figures—who held a leather-bound book close to his chest—was preaching to them.





So we’ve got Sunset, Rill, and someone else from their encampment, briefly intersecting with the main story.





The injured survivor began to cry, noisily. “Yes,” she said, through her tears. “It would be so nice. I’ve been so scared.”





Rill is so freakin’ done.  She’s finished.





“Hush,” hissed one of her companions. “They have our gear, but we can still get out of here. We can survive this.”





“We can’t! I told you and I told you, but you didn’t listen, because you wanted to be brave. Well, being brave isn’t the same thing as being unafraid.” She looked at the speaker, eyes wide and wet. “I don’t want to be afraid anymore.”





“Take her,” said the speaker.





And this is where giving up becomes giving in.  Even heroes fall.





Niko couldn’t watch any longer. They jumped onto the nearest stalagmite, a shard appearing in either hand. “Hey!” they yelled. “Leave her alone!”





Niko still wants to be a hero.  Tyvar has been a terrible influence on them.





Slow and deliberate, the speaker turned to look at them, and then at their companions. “Amazing,” he said. “You actually did it.”





Everyone who guessed he was going to betray them, you may have a gold star.





Niko dropped down from the stalagmite and moved to flank Winter, clearly intending to help the man avoid capture. Winter only bowed his head, saying nothing, as the cultists rose up and grabbed Niko in turn.





Niko did not get the gold star.





It was an unfair fight to begin with. One of the greatest swordswomen in the Multiverse, a javelin thrower who couldn’t miss, and Nashi, who had learned survival on the streets of Kamigawa, running with people who didn’t have his safe home to retreat to, against seven cultists. There was no way for them to lose.





This doesn’t even account for the surviving nezumi.  They’ve been restrained, but they can still bite.





But then, their leader raised his book and blew across the pages, and a thick layer of dust rolled off the paper, gleaming silver in the light as it coated everything around it. Their limbs became heavy, and their movements became slow, and then they blacked out briefly, falling into a nothingness that was purely outside of and distinct from sleep.





Sedative moth powder.





The Wanderer was the first to wake. Being jerked back and forth across the Multiverse by her own spark for years had left her better equipped than most to recover from sudden shocks to the system, and she was able to shake off the lingering effects of the sedative dust to find herself held up by loops of some white, cottony material, pinning her tightly to a post. They were in a different cavern now, this one larger and darker, with jagged outcroppings of rock on the wall. She could see her companions, tied to stone posts of their own around the edges of the room.





The Wanderer has been chloroformed by better cults than yours, Valgavoth!





One wall was taken up by a vast, pulsing cocoon that throbbed like the beating of a heart, the whisper-soft sound of its contractions and expansions echoing through the chamber.





So that’s probably bad…





At the center of the room was another altar, and on the altar, a square device like the one Winter carried, like the ones they’d seen abandoned around the House. The top was open, and Tamiyo’s scroll echo floated there, flickering in and out of focus, like it hurt her to be manifest. Her shoulders were slumped, and her head was bowed, and she spoke in a voice too soft for the Wanderer to hear to the man in front of her, who was writing down her every word.





That’s definitely bad.





“Such delicious stories,” said a voice to her left. She whipped her head around, as far as she could, and saw the man who’d been leading the ritual in the first cavern standing beside her, book still in his hands. “She was a glorious discovery, a jewel beyond all price, and we are beyond honored to have her.”





“She’s not a thing to be taken,” spat the Wanderer.





I mean, depending on how we define “person” as opposed to “thing,” she’s a recording of a dead woman.  A lot of Planes would probably conclude that yes, Tamiyo’s scroll echo is a thing, not a person.  This does not help.





“And yet we took her,” said the man, almost jovially. “The Devouring Father has no interest in leaving Duskmourn. This has been a glorious cocoon to feed and nurture him, and he has grown strong. But the space outside the walls has changed recently, and now he can spread his blessings even further, to more and more new worlds. He no longer needs to strain with all his might to open a door. All he needs is to know that they exist.”





They took Tamiyo because she could tell Valgavoth where to put the doors.  Oh, that’s bad.  That’s really, genuinely bad.





The sounds of Ravnica were like an assault after the eerie quiet of Duskmourn. Kaito spun around, wary of the possibility of attack. He was in the alley where he had first met Zimone, where this had all begun—had he been aiming for Ravnica? Had he been aiming for anything? He’d been desperate to escape before it was too late 





Going from the inside of a haunted house to a busy city street has got to be disorienting.





Something bit into his clenched palm. He forced it open. A piece of bloodstained wood rested in his hand, a parting gift from Duskmourn.





At least he got a souvenir?





And nothing happened. Panic momentarily gripped him, hand snapping shut on the splinter as fear bubbled up from the pit of his stomach. Had the time come for his spark to blow out as well, leaving him as dependent on the Omenpaths as so many of the others? Was he trapped? Was Kamigawa without a defender who could react with any proper speed?





The Planeswalkers who still have their sparks don’t know whether the process is over or whether they could go out at any moment just like everyone else.  The question of whether this would leave his plane without a quick response in times of crisis is one I wish more Planeswalkers were asking themselves.  Their numbers got too high, and they got complacent.





He was almost there when Niv-Mizzet closed a great talon on his shoulder, pulling him to a halt.





“Kaito, what happened?” he asked, almost gently.





You may never see “gently” and “Niv-Mizzet” in the same sentence again.





Kaito stopped. “We were separated, and then Jace … Jace was there.”





Beleren?” demanded Niv-Mizzet.





Not as harsh a reaction as he’d have gotten out of Ral, but still.





“He left me.” Kaito looked at Niv-Mizzet, offended. “He said he was sorry, and he left me.”





Kaito is so bothered that Jace didn’t stick around to make sure he was okay.





Aminatou and Etrata had reached them by that point, Yoshimaru on Aminatou’s heels. She reached toward Kaito, then appeared to think better of it and pulled her hand back. “What you fear hasn’t come to pass,” she said. “You’re still lit, and not yet blown to embers. The trouble isn’t in you. It’s in the House.”





Kaito still has his spark.  He’s just being blocked by Valgavoth.  Oh, that’s so much better.





“The House?” asked Kaito.





“It knows you now. It knows you’re more trouble than you’re worth. It doesn’t want you inside its walls. Your friend’s fate depends on the people who are already with him. If you chose wisely, he’ll be free.”





Whether Nashi lives or dies is down to the team still inside.





Proft walked up to the small group, moving with less urgency than the others. He looked to Kaito’s hand, which still clutched the broken-off piece of Duskmourn.





“If you would come with me, I think I have an idea that might help us,” he said, and motioned Kaito forward.





It’s never good when Proft says he has an idea.  Or maybe it’s very, very good.  Regardless, it’s nice to see him again, arrogant as he is.





Next up, the glorious conclusion!

seanan_mcguire: (Default)

…or rot inside a corpse’s shell.





I will now continue to dissect Duskmourn: House of Horrors alive and screaming, for your pleasure.  Because this is time-consuming, I only know people are enjoying it if they comment, and that means I really am holding future DVD extras hostage against comments. Sorry about that.





Welcome to the “DVD extras” for the fourth side story for Duskmourn: House of Horrors, “Keep Them Alive.”  This story is copyright Wizards of the Coast, although it was written by me, and can be found in its entirety here: https://magic.wizards.com/en/news/magic-story/side-four-keep-them-alive





Give them some clicks.  Convince them that you love me and I should get to keep writing things.  Seriously, though, please click the link, even if the story isn’t relevant to you.  Click-throughs are how Wizards knows that Story matters.





So what is this?  This is little excerpts of the story, with my thoughts on them, because, IDK, I thought it was funny.  I’ve also tried to include context for people new to Magic Story, to help you understand what the hell is going on.  If people continue to like it, I will probably continue.  If you don’t care about Magic Story, skip on over, although I’d still like it if you clicked.





And here we go!





As always, from this point on, plain text is bits from the story, italic text is my commentary on the same.





Grown now, child, strong and solid and ready to face the horrors of the halls. Let me have the look of you, the seeing before you go.





If this feels reminiscent of James Tiptree Jr., there’s a reason.  The cadence of the voice, the approach to the structure, was all very heavily influenced by “Love is the Plan, the Plan is Death,” which I hugely recommend if you haven’t read it before.





Cocoon was kind. It isn’t always. Four good legs and two good arms, such sharp teeth and claws. Oh, you will be a good protector, a strong defense against wandering nightmare and unseen danger! You will serve so very well, will protect so very skillfully, and will be a clean-drawn line in the mural of our history!





It’s time to meet the Beasties!  These are one of the few friendly creatures in the house, intelligent animals who befriend and protect Survivors.  They have a particular fondness for children, possibly because children are the most likely to accept them.  No one knows for certain where they came from originally, since it seems odd that Valgavoth would intentionally create something that doesn’t want to do any particular harm, but they have their own ideas about their origins.  One thing that we do know: when they’re young, they’re small, and then they spin cocoons around themselves and emerge as adults, armed and equipped to survive House.





Born we are of House, as all good things must be born of House—as all wicked things must be born as well, for House is all. There are legends of a time before House was any, when it was but a whisper carried on the wings of moths, telling us what might one day come to be, but those are only legends; they change nothing of our living now. In those old stories, however, we were like the keep-alives; we existed outside House. Then the walls closed in around us, and the cocoons came, and in the cocoons, we were first reborn, although we were not children as you were when the sweet silk closed around you. We were creatures grown and other than we are now, as you were other before your own cocooning. Such is the way of House. What exists here is changed, as much for its own safety as for the amusement of House itself.





So the Beasties believe that they were ordinary animals before the coming of House, squirrels and cats and horses and dogs.  And then they got cocooned and transformed, and became intelligent beings with their own motives and ideas.





Of course I speak of House as a living thing. Anyone who walks here can see it as a living thing, see the way it moves and answers and reacts. House moves with intention. House comprehends what happens with its body, at least to some degree. Its awareness is questionable. Its life is not.





As ours is not.





The Beasties really recognize House as a living thing, even if they’re not fully aware of Valgavoth.





When the first of us emerged from our cocoons into the splendid horror of House, we wandered with no comprehension of our purpose. Why should such as we exist? We lacked the voracious hunger of the cellarspawn, or the wicked malice of the nightmares. We had claws and horns and fangs, but we could not rip and tear as did the razorkin, not claim and transform as did the wickerfolk. We alone in the body of the House walked without purpose. Our days were long and our nights restless, for we had too much intelligence to be idle, and too little reason to keep occupied.





Basically, the House made a bunch of horrors, and also Beasties, who weren’t nearly horrific enough for their terrible surroundings, and this confused them.  I’m sorry to not be cutting more of the excerpts, but the linguistic structure of the sentences slides together with very few seams for me to slam a chisel into.





And our leader, all the way back then in the very beginning, was a great and terrible beastie who called himself Spindlewight. Six legs had he, and three arms, and claws enough to carve through stone. Horns like spears, and teeth like knives, and a fine, thick pelt of blue and green, rosette-spotted like the eyes on a vast moth’s wings.





Legendary Beastie anyone?  I doubt he’s going to have a card, since I created him for this story, but he makes me happy.  He was a big lumbering Muppet of a guy, and he did his best.





Deep and deeper he went, away from the attics and the high halls where we made our homes, and many dangers he encountered, deep dangers, dreadful dangers, horrors such as we had never once imagined—Horrors even to the horrible, things from which the other children of House fled in fear. He fought many battles, he sharpened his claws on bones, and he knew himself for a terrible predator. To protect his eyes, he fashioned himself a mask of broken bone and stolen scrap. This will matter, child, remember it.





Spindlewight made the first mask.  All Beasties wear masks now, to hide their true faces.   Spindlewight made his out of necessity, but that necessity isn’t really a factor as much anymore.





On he walked, greatest of our kind, masked and terrible. And then, in a library clearly ruined by some great battle, where he prowled with the easy confidence of a predator, he heard a new sound. A terrible sound, that created a pain in his head like splinters in the skin. It did not stop, and so he moved toward it, called and repulsed at the same time.





We know this sound very well now. It is called “crying,” and it is a terrible, wonderful thing. Terrible, for it means pain. Wonderful, for it means life.





The fact that crying affects Beasties so much supports the idea that they may have been domestic and urban animals before the House took them.  They know what humans sound like when they grieve.





He moved a fallen shelf aside, and there he found three creatures, one large and two much smaller, clinging to each other in the wreckage. There was the smell of blood, and fresh, untainted meat, and had he been hungry in that moment, before the bargain had been sealed, our mural would be painted very differently indeed.





Beasties are predators who don’t eat intelligent creatures, in part because of the bargain our narrator is referring to here.





But he did not hunger, and curiosity brought him closer to the creatures. They were furless and clawless, with no horns and soft skins, their faces matched to their bodies and not set apart, as ours are. They had no tails, no fangs, but clothed themselves in scraps of fabric. By that, he knew they were intelligent, for they must have fashioned their false furs in the same way he had fashioned his mask, and he felt a mutual respect that they had both, unknowing, taken steps to look more like one another. They covered their baldness to suit his sensibilities, and he had covered his face to suit theirs, all before they had even seen one another. What a miracle that meeting was. What a moment. What a mercy.





Intelligence recognizes intelligence when you’re lucky.





The two smaller ones were crying, burrowing against their larger as cubs will burrow in the den before the cocooning time. Spindlewight moved closer in his curiosity, and the larger one pulled away, gathering the small ones close. He stopped, looking at them, and waited to learn what would happen next.





He can tell that it’s a parent and children, even if he doesn’t know what kind of parent, or what kind of children.





So long he waited that the echoes of the battle which had destroyed this place faded from the memory of House, and a cellarspawn pulled itself from the wall, hungry as House ever was. It came for the strange things, drawn by their crying as Spindlewight had been, and Spindlewight attacked it, driving it away from his discovery, his great mystery, which must be studied, which must be understood.





And he’s already defending them.  One big Beastie is an easy match for a single Cellarspawn, especially when it has something to protect.  Spindlewight didn’t know it yet, but he had something to protect when this fight was unfolding.





The two smallest were crying harder than ever, while the largest was motionless, a spike of jagged wood protruding from its middle. It had been broken loose during the fight against the cellarspawn and had flown all unseen to pierce and pin. There was blood, more blood than ever, and while the creature yet breathed, it no longer had the strength to cry.





Sorry, buddy.  The giant monster saved your children, but it couldn’t save you.  I just really love the rhythm of the words here.  “Pierce and pin” is so nice in this context.





Spindlewight moved closer, sniffing at it, trying to decide what was to happen next, and the creature opened its eyes. It moved its mouth in a shape called a “smile”—you will see your first smile soon, and it will light you up inside as it did him, it will recolor your world in new brilliance, such as you have never even dreamt before! I envy you that first smile, I do, for mine was long ago, and the one who wore it is no more.





The Beasties love their human charges so much, and this moment is why.





The creature spoke the language of House, the language sometimes muttered by the razorkin and by the nightmares. Spindlewight understood enough to know that the large one was dying, and he was grieved, for he wanted to know more.





Beasties don’t have mouths that necessarily allow for comprehensible speech, but they’re fully intelligent, and they can understand what’s said to them.  They had smaller vocabularies in Spindlewight’s day, as they didn’t need them as much.





But then the large creature pushed the two smaller toward him, as they cried and quivered.





“Please …” it said. “One last … favor. Please … keep them alive.”





This is the line that defines this story.  “Keep them alive.”  That’s what matters to the Beasties.  It’s what they work for, what they do, and what will always be their greatest failure, thanks to where they’re trying to accomplish it.





It closed its eyes then, and it left house in the only way that any living thing ever can. Spindlewight wrapped his first two arms around the smaller creatures as they cried and clung to his furs, and he knew what they were, for they had been named by their elder as their care was passed to him:





They were keep-alives, and he would do exactly that. He would keep them alive, as long as he could.





At least the kids didn’t blame him for the death of their parent, whose gender has been intentionally unspecified.





Spindlewight returned to us with his new charges and told us that our purpose had been found. And thus, did we learn many things.





Basically he went back to the main pack and said “I found these squishy things, and they are mine and I am theirs and they’re awesome.  You should totally go get one.”  He’s like the first person to adopt a cat.





First, that a beastie is at their very best when they have a keep-alive to protect and care for. We cannot steal them from their own kind, but we can woo them, offer them gifts and friendship until they give us smiles in return.





At least they have ethics?





Once a keep-alive has smiled at you, you will be theirs forevermore, even once they have left House behind or been taken where you cannot follow.





Pretty sure this means they do abduct people who smile at them, so you know, be careful who you smile at inside the House.





Second, that the keep-alives are terrified of our true faces. All the kindness we can offer, all the friendship that has passed before our masks come off, none of it matters, for if they see us truly, they will fear us, and they will flee. A fleeing keep-alive can never be befriended again; they are lost. We are divided, as a pack, on how to handle those losses. Some say they should be put to death at once, mercifully culled before House’s other occupants can have them. Others say it is never right to kill a friend, and simply let them go, even knowing that they won’t survive for long.





Both reactions can happen, depending on the Beastie someone is bonded to.  Either they’ll let their former friends flee, or they’ll kill them immediately.  It’s a mercy compared to letting them run into the other occupants of the House.





Those first two, they gave us the mural. They painted it on the attic walls with their own hands, with paint Spindlewight had gifted them from a playroom far below, stolen from under the watch of nightmares and cellarspawn. They painted a beautiful world we had never seen, and they filled it with us, with great shaggy creatures that watched over them benevolently and out of kindness. We add to it still, paint ourselves in the fields they drew for us, sketch our outlines in the spaces that remain. It is our history and our home and our greatest treasure, and we would fight House itself to protect it.





There’s an attic somewhere in Duskmourn where children and their pet monsters have been painting the last known portrait of the Plane-that-was, sun and grass and all.  But it’s already tainted by the House, because the Beasties are there.  it’s not an accurate picture, more of a child’s dream of a happy ending.





They gave us the mural, and they gave us the lessons. One grew tall and strong and clever in Spindlewight’s keeping, staying with him for so long as their story goes.





At least one of the children lived with Spindlewight until the end.





The other saw the maskless and fled into the halls, never to be seen again. The loss of that keep-alive broke Spindlewight’s heart, and he led us no longer.





Losing the other caused him to step down from leading the original pack, which was all the Beasties in the House.





Without his heavy paw to guide and mold us, we broke into the packs we occupy today. The mural was declared neutral ground, shared between us, too precious to risk to the protection of a single pack, and we scattered through the House.





…and him stepping down caused the packs to splinter, and now they’re all over the House, making their own patterns and traditions, only coming back together to tend to the mural.





Spindlewight and his keep-alive remained together. They had many adventures, until at last they didn’t; until his keep-alive came back to the mural with his mask in hand, broken down the center, and wept and wailed and smiled no more. It would not accept another keeper but followed the path of its sibling down into the House, to be seen no more.





This is the bit that broke my heart.  That Spindlewight and his keep-alive were doing something, and something attacked them.  Spindlewight fought, because he couldn’t do anything less, but he was outmatched, and he died.  His keep-alive must have seen the mask come off, seen him go down, and rather than going “the Beasties were monsters all along” and running into the depths of the House to be devoured, picked up the mask and brought it back to the others.  It was the only grace that could be given to repay a glorious monster who lived and loved and died protecting what was his.





Your keep-alive is there as well, already waiting for you, although they do not know it. Fashion a mask from these things we have gathered, drape yourself in things both colorful and pleasant to the eye, and go forth to find your companion. We have one purpose in this House, one pleasure.





Basically “your bonded companion is already in the House, just waiting for you to come and find them.  Go now.  Go and find your perfect pet at this animal shelter of the doomed and damned, and bring them home, and be happy.”





Keep them alive. I believe in you, no-longer-child, and Spindlewight would believe in you as well, were he still here. You have grown strong and clever, you have survived your own cocoon, and you are ready to be a glorious companion to one who needs you.





I love the Beasties and their keep-alives.  I’m so glad the Survivors have one bright spot in this House of horrors, even if the Beasties always fail.  At least they can try.





You will not succeed. None of us do, not forever, and when you fail, you will return here, to add your stories to our mural, to gather with your own kind for a time, to tend to the cocoons as I have done. And then you will go again, for we know why we are here, and we know what we must do, and we know one day, if we are clever, we will succeed.





Some Beasties will have multiple keep-alives over the course of their lifetimes.  They keep trying.  They will always keep trying.





Keep them alive.





Nothing more is needed.





And there is nothing more to say.

seanan_mcguire: (Default)

Without the soul for getting down…





I will now continue to dissect Duskmourn: House of Horrors alive and screaming, for your pleasure.  Because this is time-consuming, I only know people are enjoying it if they comment, and that means I really am holding future DVD extras hostage against comments. Sorry about that.





Welcome to the “DVD extras” for the third side story of Duskmourn: House of Horrors, “Children of the Carnival, Part II.”  This story is copyright Wizards of the Coast, although it was written by me, and can be found in its entirety here:  https://magic.wizards.com/en/news/magic-story/side-three-children-of-the-carnival-part-2





Give them some clicks.  Convince them that you love me and I should get to keep writing things.  Seriously, though, please click the link, even if the story isn’t relevant to you.  Click-throughs are how Wizards knows that Story matters.





So what is this?  This is little excerpts of the story, with my thoughts on them, because, IDK, I thought it was funny.  I’ve also tried to include context for people new to Magic Story, to help you understand what the hell is going on.  If people continue to like it, I will probably continue.  If you don’t care about Magic Story, skip on over, although I’d still like it if you clicked.





And here we go!





As always, from this point on, plain text is bits from the story, italic text is my commentary on the same.





Dawn ran, and the carnival that was the only home she had ever known burned behind her, creatures and monsters cavorting in the flames, survivors scattering as they ran for their lives.





As we saw at the end of part one, the carnival where Dawn was born and raised is fully under siege by Duskmourn.   In the House, anyone who has not yet fallen to the influence of the place and become a monster in service of Duskmourn is a Survivor.  Calling them that doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll survive the story.





She had been among the first to run, thanks to meeting City and the others on the way back from their scavenging mission; Duskmourn’s monsters had still been getting themselves into position. She fled, and the survivors who ran after her died screaming, picked off by nightmares or entwined by lurking wickerfolk who had been smart enough to let her pass in favor of the richer pickings yet to come.





Smart, or is she being spared?





She ran, and every time a scream was cut short behind her, she felt a little worse about running. She should have seen the signs of danger sooner than she did, should have realized something was wrong when they came back early, and by the sometimes-unpredictable rose path, not through the more stable route behind the kiddy wheel. There had been so many signs, and she’d missed them all, and now her home was burning.





Dawn wasn’t an official sentry when she went to watch for her friends, and now everyone she loves is dead or dying.  What a lousy way to say hello.





stopped and looked back at the fire, at the shapes fleeing before it, and at the larger shapes capering in the destruction. She tried to commit the moment to memory, to write it bold and permanent across her thoughts. She knew the details would fade, but she could at least try.





When the battle’s lost, all you can necessarily do is remember the ones you’ve lost.





Dawn woke up screaming, kicking off the thin blanket—really a strip of scavenged curtain—that she had been using to shield herself against the attic chill. The guards on duty at the trapdoor down to the next floor turned to look at her with irritated disinterest.





Ah, so all that was a flashback/dream sequence/memory, and she actually made it to another safe zone.  This one is in an attic, not an open field, and clearly has a much more organized watch system than her old home.





Cringing with embarrassment, Dawn gestured apology and rose, folding her curtain blanket neatly off to the side. Someone else would sleep there now that she was up, and whoever it was would probably appreciate the consideration. There was a certain indefinable comfort in unfolding a blanket to sleep under, as if that small act of destruction made the slumber all the sweeter.





In the carnival where Dawn grew up, they had enough space that people could have permanent beds and sleeping places.  Here in the attic, space is much more dear.  Resources are shared.  Not all safe zones were created equal, even before the Omenpaths opened.





Finding an unguarded tunnel to the attic encampment had been sheer luck, a one in a million chance that should never have panned out. She’d arrived bruised and scraped from her headlong flight into the forest, but otherwise uninjured, and had been able to warn the camp leads of what had happened to the carnival before the monsters started hammering on the attic door.





Dawn ran for the nearest safe zone she knew how to find, or thought she knew how to find, and when she ran, she warned them that the monsters had taken out the carnival and the rules were changing.  If she hadn’t been fast enough, the entire attic would probably have been destroyed before she could get there.





If not for the fact that the attack had come from the opposite side of the room from Dawn’s arrival, she would have suspected herself of leading Duskmourn’s forces straight to them.





It’s important to make it clear that Dawn didn’t lead the monsters to the attic: it’s also important to note that House has so many monsters that it could mount two all-out attacks at the same time, if not more.





As it was, while she had been offered shelter, most of the survivors her own age treated her with suspicion. Her escape from the carnival had been too convenient, especially given the timing of the attack that followed.





The elders have seen worse.  The children still believe that things might get better.  People her own age see her as a threat who—if she’s telling the truth—abandoned her friends to save her own skin.  She’s not going to be anyone’s new bestie.





Almost everyone in the attic had lost someone in one of those two attacks. The House had never been a safe place to live, but it had suddenly turned hostile even by its own horrifying standards. Every settlement and gathering place they still had contact with had been attacked in the last weeks; several had vanished entirely. It was like the House, after years of treating their lives like a resource to be carefully hoarded, had suddenly figured out that they weren’t needed after all. And it was terrifying.





Yeah.  The House is wiping out its farms.  There are still safe zones in the House, but the old ones have been broken, and hard, by the response to the Omenpaths and their more plentiful resources.





Living in Duskmourn—not that any of them had a choice in the matter, not that any of them would have chosen to stay if they’d had a choice in the matter—had never been an easy thing.





Understatement of the day.





The House was a predatory landscape filled with monsters, and it would slaughter the unwary in the time it took to draw a breath and scream. Still, it had been their predatory landscape until recently, and now that it was no longer giving them time to catch their breath between assaults, it was unclear in the extreme how much longer any of them would be able to endure.





Basically, after generations, they had systems and patterns that worked, and if you followed the rules precisely, you might be able to survive, have a family, and teach them to do the same.  That’s not the case now.  They’re in psychological freefall and not everyone is handling it well.





Dawn stepped into the empty changing room, lighting a lantern, and swinging it around to check the shadows before she began to change clothing. Traditionally, the House hadn’t attacked up here. But its nightmares and cellarspawn could come from anywhere, even the attic walls, and “tradition” was a word that was rapidly collapsing under the weight of reality.





Normally it’s a bad idea to do anything alone.  The residents of the safe zones had grown complacent enough to start changing and using the bathroom by themselves.  Whether this is going to continue from here is an academic exercise.  What matters is that she’s cut off from the rest of the safe zone.





Night and day were concepts she only knew from books and old stories; sometimes rooms were brighter or darker, but there was no grand cycle, no predictable pattern to the House’s whims. Still, there were times when the House was active. It was best to scavenge right after a major attack, when the monsters would be satiated and sleeping, and to sleep after that, while guards stood watch against anything that might not have found a big enough meal earlier.





No real night or day cycle, although they experience both phases: no way to predict which comes next.  But there is a rhythm to the House.  Right after Valgavoth has had a huge meal, it’s probably safe to sleep.





Dawn nodded to the guards as she moved past them again, this time heading for a door in the far wall. A quick peek showed that her workshop was still on the other side, not yet shuttled away by the House, and so she slipped through and sat down at the workbench she had scavenged for herself from broken boards and pieces of mismatched furniture, reaching for her current project.





Dawn is still working on her traps and tools.  It’s all she has.





It had started as some sort of kitchen implement, boxy and rectangular, with two slots in the top and a heating coil inside. Dawn couldn’t imagine what it would have been used for, or how it was supposed to function





Presenting…the toaster.





Under her tools and clever fingers, bits of scrap and waste were transformed into traps for glitch ghosts, snares that could slow—not stop, but still, a few seconds could be the difference between life and death—a charging razorkin, even fire-spitters that would stop a wickerfolk in their tracks. Her little devices were barely more than toys, and yet. Sometimes toys were all you had.





Dawn is determined to make herself useful, and keep herself occupied.  Both good things.





The attic had access to different raw materials than the carnival had, in both good and bad ways. There were fewer nuts and bolts to be had here, but more copper piping; not as many nails, more pieces of unbroken glass





It’s fun to try and figure out what would be easiest to scavenge from any given room of a creaky, crumbling haunted house.  I wanted there to be variety in what loot drops can be acquired in different areas, not least because it opens the possibility that there used to be trading between safe zones.





Batteries were rare and getting rarer every season. They were artifacts from the fabled days before Duskmourn became the world, products of the lost city created during that era of impossible peace and plenty. They could be recharged by people with the magical talent to channel energy into metal, or by hanging them in a place frequented by glitch ghosts, although batteries hung in that manner weren’t always recovered.





How they still have electricity: a basic primer so I don’t get asked eighty-seven times.





It began to hum, and the small wooden “prod” she’d attached to one end with a rope of braided copper crackled, broadcasting the fact that it was now dangerous to the touch. Dawn grinned to herself, thinking about how impressed Rill would be when she saw that one of the shockers had finally come together, that Dawn had given them a new weapon, even if it was one that required being a lot closer to the enemy than most of them preferred.





This is something Dawn has been working on for a long time, and she finally got it to work.





Her smile faded. Rill was never going to see. Rill was dead if she was lucky, and alive but taken if she was not, transformed by the House into one of its many horrors. Sweet, serious Rill. The image of her ripped apart by cellarspawn was almost preferrable to the thought that she might have become trapped inside the woven skin of one of the wickerfolk, silent and unfeeling forever—





The House has a lot of ways to make you wish that you were dead.





A loud bang from the other side of the door jerked her attention away from her workbench. Dawn looked around, box still in her hands, before she slowly, deliberately stood.





No one spent a lifetime in Duskmourn without learning the signs of danger. No one had screamed, no one was whimpering or wailing.





No one was breathing either.





So the attic, full of sleeping, stirring people, has gone completely silent.  That’s probably normal, right?





For a long while, the only sound was the pounding of her heart, the blood rushing in her ears, her breath rasping in her throat. Then, from the other side of the door, she heard footsteps.





So it’s not a silence spell.  That’s good, right?





They moved toward her workshop, but stopped before they reached it. And a familiar, once beloved voice said, calm and serene in a way that he had never been when they were together in the carnival,





He knows exactly where she is, and he timed this.





“He let you go, you know. I asked him for your life, and he granted it to me, our Devouring Father doing a glorious favor for his most beloved new acolyte. But I don’t have any more favors to call in until I earn them, in blood and bone and terror. I don’t have a way to save you again. Come to us in the Valley of Serenity. Come with open hands and a willing heart, and we’ll lead you past the threshold into his peace, forever. Or stay as you are, unprotected and unchaperoned, and know that you’ll die like all the others. The choice is yours, Dawn. I only pray you choose rightly.”





Dawn got away not because she was fast or lucky, but because City had asked for her, and Valgavoth was amused or charmed enough to agree.  And now City has to serve before he can ask for anything else, which means the protection she never requested is at an end.





Eventually, she stood on shaking legs and moved to open the attic door. The scene on the other side was as she had expected, and not, all at once. There were very few bodies. The ones that remained were missing pieces, skins mostly, but limbs as well; the razorkin had been here. Dawn stopped to pluck a machete from one of the slain as she walked to the trapdoor, shock wand still in hand.





Welcome to the bloodbath, I guess.





She climbed down the stairs, and nothing attacked her. The shadows, for once, were entirely empty and stayed that way as she walked down the hall, moving from the uneasy echoes of the Mutemoors into the dripping cool of the Floodpits. She had heard rumors the Conservators would be found there.





She’s too numb to be scared in this moment.  That, or City’s protection has managed to extend just a tiny bit further.  Either way, she needs to get to safety if she wants to stay alive.  “Mutemoors” above should be “Mistmoors,” the white-aligned area of the house.  Lots of attics and sheeted furniture, vast, echoing spaces.





She was walking along a portrait hall when a glitching, shuddering shape pulled itself out of a shard of glass and reached for her, a terrible void of color and eternal nothingness.





This is a glitch ghost, one of the restless dead from before House consumed the Plane.  They’re jittering, terrible, and hungry, and fairly commonly encountered by Survivors.





She aimed her shock wand at it and pressed the button that should increase the voltage, and instead of a spark, a shimmering beam of shattered light burst out, wrapping the glitch ghost in a lightning haze. Dawn staggered back, keeping the button pressed firmly down, and hoped the ghost would break before her battery died.





Dawn is now a Ghostbuster.  Awesome.





The two things happened at the same time, the ghost shattering into a million specks of light even as the battery crackled and expired. Suddenly defenseless except for her stolen machete, she blinked at the place where the ghost had been, then at the wand in her hand, like she had forgotten what it was.





Destroying a glitch ghost is a pretty big deal.  She’d be proud of herself, if she wasn’t totally screwed.





Hands grasped her from behind, and she was yanked through a doorway before she could scream, into a dusty, disused theater, where a circle of survivors in meticulously patched clothes turned to look at her.





This is either very good or very bad.





“Welcome to the Benefactors,” said the one who had pulled her into the dubious safety of their company. “We heard you’d been looking for us.”





An organized group of survivors with resources who know how to move through the House without the use of the established safe zones?  Yes, please.





Dawn laughed, starting to cry at the same time.





Shock is a cruel mistress.





The circle closed around her, and then hands were taking her shock wand, two people studying it before saying they had fresh batteries and asking whether she would mind if they installed them. She was safe here. They were safe here, or as safe as anyone could be with the House changing around them for no reason she could see.





They’ll keep her if only because she makes amazing weapons, and they’re pragmatists.   So she got what she wanted, at the expense of everything she had.





And still City’s words echoed in her ears.





The choice was hers.





The deaths were, too.





Basically, he’s going to keep coming for her, forever.  So does she tell her new friends?  Does she prepare them?  Or does she hide and hope she won’t have to run again?





Poor Dawn.

seanan_mcguire: (Default)

To terrorize y’all’s neighborhood.





I will now continue to dissect Duskmourn: House of Horrors alive and screaming, for your pleasure.  Because this is time-consuming, I only know people are enjoying it if they comment, and that means I really am holding future DVD extras hostage against comments. Sorry about that.





Welcome to the “DVD extras” for the second side story of Duskmourn: House of Horrors, “Children of the Carnival, Part I.”  This story is copyright Wizards of the Coast, although it was written by me, and can be found in its entirety here:  https://magic.wizards.com/en/news/magic-story/side-two-children-of-the-carnival-part-1





Give them some clicks.  Convince them that you love me and I should get to keep writing things.  Seriously, though, please click the link, even if the story isn’t relevant to you.  Click-throughs are how Wizards knows that Story matters.





So what is this?  This is little excerpts of the story, with my thoughts on them, because, IDK, I thought it was funny.  I’ve also tried to include context for people new to Magic Story, to help you understand what the hell is going on.  If people continue to like it, I will probably continue.  If you don’t care about Magic Story, skip on over, although I’d still like it if you clicked.





And here we go!





As always, from this point on, plain text is bits from the story, italic text is my commentary on the same.





No one knew where the wind came from. It shouldn’t have been blowing anymore: the House walls were tall and strong, without cracks or crannies through which a wayward wind could slip. The windows were locked.





As far as anyone knows, there is nothing outside the House.  I include myself in “anyone.”  If there’s anything outside the House but inside the Plane that has become Duskmourn, I don’t know about it.  So that’s ominous.  Where does the wind come from?  The House is large enough to have weather patterns, but that doesn’t mean it should have wind.





Every few years, some group of cocky young harvesters would decide that everyone before them had been doing it wrong somehow and take up bricks, and hoes, and whatever else they could find, making the long journey to the nearest plate glass window, intending to smash it and set the world free.





So we’re introducing two concepts here: first, that House has been in place long enough for any living memory of the Plane-that-was to have faded out, and the Survivors to begin measuring things in terms of years, and second, that harvesters are some sort of organized group within the community of Survivors.





When Duskmourn was feeling charitable, their bodies would be found. When the House was feeling hungry—much more common an occurrence—there would be nothing, not even bones, to show where they had gone.





Duskmourn is very rarely feeling charitable.





Their names would be added to the cautionary tale of why it’s a bad idea to go around smashing windows, and their parents would cry in private, trying not to let the younger children see.





The younger children saw, of course. The children always saw.





So yes: there are children in Duskmourn.  This wasn’t something I was allowed to focus on very much, although logically, there would have to be children: the House has been sealed off for a long, long time, and yet there are still Survivors for it to hunt and consume.  Children are sort of a necessary part of that.  There are safe zones within the House, places where the monsters don’t generally go, and Survivors take advantage of that, although they still have to gather supplies from outside the zone.





The children saw how many people left the safe zones and didn’t come back again. More every year. The once dependable paths through Duskmourn’s body were becoming more and more dangerous





With the advent of Omenpaths, Duskmourn can stop being careful with its livestock, and just feed as it desires.  Who needs safe zones?





Dawn sat on the rough stone wall that marked the border between the carnival’s safety and the treacherous roses to the west, throwing chips of stone at the roses to watch them snap and snarl.





People born in the House tend to have names that reflect things the Survivors don’t have anymore.  “Dawn” is one of those things, since the House ate the suns a long, long time ago.





She knew better than to get close enough for them to sink their thorns into her. That was the thing about safe zones: you could learn their borders, but so could everything else.





These nasty, predatory roses weren’t planted by Survivors: they’ve sprouted just outside the safe zone to catch easy prey.  Children who stray too far are likely to find themselves turned into mulch.





Dawn pulled back and hurled a particularly large stone chip at a yellow rose, which snapped it out of the air and swallowed, stem bulging as the rock traveled toward its root ball. If you could feed a bush enough rocks, you might clog the roots and kill the thing, although you could also turn the whole bush into a sort of slingshot, with the roses spitting projectiles at anyone in range. The elders disapproved of feeding the roses.





Feed the roses: either you’ll make them harmless or you’ll turn them into peashooters from Plants vs. Zombies.  Either way, something’s going to happen, and that’s going to be funny as hell.





Dawn really didn’t care. She wasn’t going to live in the carnival her whole life. Even if her inventions were never enough to catch the attention of the Benefactors,





From the Planeswalker’s Guide to Duskmourn: “The Benefactors are a group of tough, resilient nomads who are the most knowledgeable about the House’s geography. They frequently leave caches of supplies and materials around, marked for any other survivors who might need them.”  Dawn is an inventor, and wants to be a Benefactor someday, not spend her whole life safe in the carnival not getting anything done.





there were other safe zones in the House—her brother had gone to an attic settlement, and one of her cousins was in the hedge maze region—and none of them would have the local elders watching her every move. Oh, they’d have their own elders, but those elders would know her as the adult she was, not the child she’d been. These elders would forever see her as something to protect, to contain, to control, and she was well tired of it.





None of the safe zones mentioned here are really nailed down to a region of the House, and there’s a reason for that.  Odds are decent that they’re all at the edges of a zone, making them dual colored and thus harder to easily define.





But she wasn’t going to need to deal with any of that, because she was going to build the best traps, the best warning systems, and the Benefactors were going to claim her to join them and help them fight against the House. It was all she’d ever wanted.





Pretty standard “small town girl dreams big.”  She’s a walking Hallmark movie, trapped inside a 1960s pastoral horror film.





The wind whipped through her hair as she ran, carrying the familiar scent of popcorn and frying dough. The carnival was a safe zone, but the House still replenished its lures, the delicious smells that had drawn the first survivors to the patched and leaning tents.





Every part of the House will try to lure you in and take you apart, even if it’s luring you toward safety.  It probably snared its initial breeding population of Survivors a few generations ago, when it realized that it was going to run out if it didn’t do something.





Everything else had to be gathered, wandering the safe zone to gather crops or sending foraging parties into other rooms. Some of the dining halls and kitchens replenished themselves on a regular basis, setting their own lures out to trap survivors.





So they can generate some crops inside the safe zone, and otherwise they have to forage.  That explains where the harvesters come in.





All three of them had made it back. Rill had a nasty gash down one arm, straight through the fabric of her canvas-and-wallpaper coat, but the flesh Dawn could see through the hole was still pink and healthy looking, not riddled with splinters or decorated with fishhooks.





Several of the nastier threats the House has to offer will transform Survivors into more of themselves.  Wickerfolk infect with organic material.  Razorkin are less about infection and more about breaking you, mind body and soul, but fishhooks left inside someone who can still feel pain would be the first step down that road.





Sunset was walking like his left ankle hurt him, leaning on City and wincing every time he put his foot down.





A rill is a small stream or creek.  A sunset is, obviously, something else you don’t get to have without suns.  And then there is City: one more thing you can’t have inside a House.





City, of course, looked perfectly fine. City always did. He was the fastest and strongest of their current foragers, too clever for the harvest by far; he’d been making runs into the body of the House since the day he was declared of age, taking greater risks than any of the others, and always coming back.





City is basically our star quarterback.





All of them were named for things that had existed in the world outside, fading dreams of freedom and comfort passed down, long after they had lost all meaning—Dawn was fairly sure her name and Sunset’s meant the same thing, and that a Rill was something to do with water, but she’d never experienced those things for herself. Neither had her parents, or her grandparents, or anyone she’d ever met.





So we have generations inside the House.  And me once again helpfully spending time explaining something the text already explains for me.  I should really start reading ahead when I do these, and not relying on my memory of what I wrote months ago.





City was the best and most powerful name they had, and it only made sense for the one who carried it to be the best of them all. City was going to lead them one day, Dawn knew it, and when he did, he would find a way to put a stop to the slow erosion of the safe routes between settlements. He would make their world steady and stable again.





Maybe build that pedestal a little lower, babe…





A happy life could be lived surrounded by monsters, if you knew where to throw your stones and set your feet.





And this is really the motto that keeps the Survivors fighting when all else is lost, that lets them marry and have children and put those children where the Beasties can find them: a happy life is still possible.





“What happened?”





“Ambush while we were cleaning out a cold room,” said Rill. “You should have seen it—more wheels of cheese than you ever get in one place. And jam! Actual jam, in jars!”





In other words, a trap.





Dawn’s eyes widened. Jam in jars was the best kind. After you swallowed the sweetness, you’d have glass left to use in making weapons, or traps, or even the most basic sort of scanners, the ones that would barely give you a few seconds’ warning before a cellarspawn burst out of the wall and started trying to drag you away. Better scanners needed better material. A few months ago, one of the raiding parties had come back to the carnival with a whole box of silverware that she’d been able to melt down for wire.





Some of the images we’ve seen on cards start to make a little more sense.  Everything they have is built of materials scavenged from the House, and they’re working from the tech level we saw at the start of the story, sort of a fantasy powered 1980s.





“It wasn’t a cellarspawn,” said Rill. Her voice was hollow. “We were deep in the Boilerbilges, nowhere near the Hauntwoods, but it wasn’t a cellarspawn.”





The Boilerbilges are the red mana zone of the house, all furnaces and burnt-out rooms.  The Hauntwoods are, pretty obviously, our green zone, and tend to manifest as almost natural-looking environments.  Not fun.





The safe paths through the House had been hard drawn, paid for in blood and brutality over the course of years. The House didn’t want them to be safe anywhere, of course; it needed their fear, and a bed where nothing would try to snatch you out from beneath the covers went counter to everything it stood for. But people needed safety to stay people. They needed time to stop and breathe, before the stress stopped their hearts and left them rotting, no longer tempting sources of terror for the House to harvest.





A constant state of terror will break a human, and without people to consume, the House will get hungry.  That would probably be bad.  Even House doesn’t want that.





So, bit by bit, they had established the treaties. Unwritten things, of course, things that could be forgotten or passed on incorrectly, so there was always the question of whether the path you were on was really safe, or just looked like it. Still, if you stayed on the paths and watched for the sigils, you should be able to move between zones without too much risk.





Starter passages between areas.  Build a false sense of security, convince the new generation that you’re overly cautious, and boom, fresh terror.





“We saw another of those groups of strangers,” said Sunset. “They were wearing clothing like nothing I’d ever seen before, and wandering around like they had no idea they were in danger. And they all had their glimmers! Every one of them!”





Glimmers are the manifestation of a Survivor’s hopes and dreams.  They don’t appear instantly, and they can be lost.  So this group of Omenpath tourists is in for a rough time.





There had been a great shaking in the House a few harvest cycles back, knocking things off shelves and sending dust cascading down from the rafters. And then it had passed, and everything had been normal—until it wasn’t.





The Phyrexian Invasion was just another Tuesday for the residents of Duskmourn.





Strange doors had begun to appear outside the safe zones. Doors appearing and disappearing according to their own whim was nothing new, but not at the rate these seemed to crop up—more and more every week it seemed. Rill had seen one open, and the air that blew through the door had been fresh and sweet, so sweet it hurt the throat, like it was blowing from another world. More strangers had started showing up after that. Never many at the same time, but a steady enough stream that everyone knew by this point. People had been vanishing from the edges of the safe zones since the beginning. It wasn’t until the appearance of the doors that they’d started to vanish from the paths.





These Survivors haven’t had a chance to test the Omenpath doors.  Maybe they should have done.





They reached the top of the low hill that split the carnival grounds in two, and there it was ahead of them: home. One of the few places Duskmourn had never been able to taint or tarnish, a safe zone from the beginning.





As I mentioned once before, give me the opportunity for a creepy carnival and I will take it every time.  I grew up in carnivals, they’re part of my heritage and every one of them I’ve ever entered has been another piece of home.





The tents were a riot of color, patched canvas walls rippling in the breeze and pennants snapping overhead. Magical lights wrapped around the tentpoles and stretched between the tents themselves, creating a web of promised sanctuary. The central bonfire was lit; someone was playing a fiddle tune that sounded like a full stomach and a warm bed.





This is very intentionally a mix between traditional English carnivals and mid-50s era American carnivals, with a little magic thrown in for good measure.





“You know, Dawn,” he said. “Your detectors kept us safe for years. Without you, we would have died a dozen times over. That’s why we wanted you to keep harvesting and artifacting until the Benefactors came for you, not come with us on the foraging runs.”





Dawn was at least appreciated in her community, even as they kept her in a box to prevent her from leaving them…





City turned to look at her. Had his eyes always been that blue, that bright? Or was it just a trick of the carnival lights?





“Duskmourn gave us safety because we gave House what was needed more than anything: we gave Duskmourn the people to sustain it.”





It’s very much the bargain the rabbits made in Watership Down: be fruitful and multiply so we can devour your children, and we won’t take all of you.  We won’t wipe you out.  The Survivors probably never looked at it quite that bluntly, but it was the deal, and without the Omenpaths, it was almost a reasonable one.





“I don’t …”





“But something shifted. Something outside. And now, Duskmourn can do what we’ve been doing all along. Now House can hunt.” City looked genuinely regretful as he stopped walking and turned fully around, shrugging off his coat.





Duskmourn being able to hunt is a terrifying thought.





Beneath it he wore a tabard embroidered with the wings of a vast and colorful moth. He smiled as he spread his arms, and the smile was the smile of Duskmourn, and it was terrible to behold.





That pedestal left a long way for someone to fall.  The Cult of Valgavoth are another enemy faction inside the House.  They serve Valgavoth, the great demon at the heart of the House’s immortal, perpetual engine.  He doesn’t eat them.  Mostly.





“Duskmourn doesn’t need us anymore,” he said, while Rill gasped in horror and Dawn and Sunset stared. “But there is a way to survive, if you’re clever enough to see it. There’s still a place for those of us who wish to serve the Devouring Father, among the Cult of Valgavoth. Join me, Dawn. Spread your wings and fly toward his light.”





The quarterback shall have his prom queen…unless she runs.





Rill and Sunset were injured. Dawn was the only one who stumbled back, away from the suddenly menacing shape of her friend.





Oh, yeah.  She’s running.





Behind her, something smashed. She looked over her shoulder. A massive razorkin was kicking down the fence, what looked like an entire army of Duskmourn’s monsters following close behind.





So City managed to negotiate leaving the safe zone alone just long enough for him to go back and collect his girlfriend who doesn’t know she’s his girlfriend, got it.





The time of truce was ended, but maybe, if she was lucky, she could find one of those mysterious doors. Maybe she could be the one who found out where the wind came from.





Dawn is ready to burst, screaming and covered in blood, through a door on a dead-end alley on Thunder Junction, or maybe into the middle of a harvest fair on Innistrad.  I wish I could give that to her, I really do.





Dawn ran, and the carnival fell, screaming, behind her.





Bye-bye, safe zone.

seanan_mcguire: (Default)

Creatures crawl in search of blood…





I will now continue to dissect Duskmourn: House of Horrors alive and screaming, for your pleasure.  Because this is time-consuming, I only know people are enjoying it if they comment, and that means I really am holding future DVD extras hostage against comments. Sorry about that.





Welcome to the “DVD extras” for the second episode of the Duskmourn: House of Horrors story, “Don’t Split the Party.”  This story is copyright Wizards of the Coast, although it was written by me, and can be found in its entirety here:  https://magic.wizards.com/en/news/magic-story/episode-two-dont-split-the-party





Give them some clicks.  Convince them that you love me and I should get to keep writing things.  Seriously, though, please click the link, even if the story isn’t relevant to you.  Click-throughs are how Wizards knows that Story matters.





So what is this?  This is little excerpts of the story, with my thoughts on them, because, IDK, I thought it was funny.  I’ve also tried to include context for people new to Magic Story, to help you understand what the hell is going on.  If people continue to like it, I will probably continue.  If you don’t care about Magic Story, skip on over, although I’d still like it if you clicked.





And here we go!





As always, from this point on, plain text is bits from the story, italic text is my commentary on the same.





The hallway looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in years, cobwebs choking the corners and grime streaking the faded wallpaper.





Duskmourn is not great at housekeeping.





Every footstep lifted a small cloud of dust from a tattered rug as the rescue party walked along it, moving with careful tactical precision.





You, uh, probably shouldn’t be breathing that, y’all.





Kaito led the group, with the Wanderer close behind. Both had their swords out and ready, eyes scanning the hall for signs of Nashi.





Most anticlimactic set story ever.  “Nashi is missing!  Let’s go into the creepy house to find him…and oh, look, he’s waiting for us in the front hall.  Let’s go home.”





Himoto made a chittering sound and swiveled on Kaito’s shoulder, looking back the way they’d come. The rest of the group stopped to see what she was looking at—all save Zimone, who kept walking forward with her eyes on the screen and stopped when she bumped into the Wanderer.





I don’t think Kaito should have been allowed to take Himoto into Duskmourn.  That just seems like a bad plan, given how important she is to Kamigawa.  But if she’s going to be here, at least she’s paying attention to her surroundings?





“The door’s gone,” said Kaito.





“That’s ridiculous. Doors are static structures, they can’t just—” Zimone turned and paused. “The door’s gone.”





I love having a straight man on the team.





“We tread carefully from here, friends,” said Tyvar. “Predators who hide to hunt are more dangerous than those who come to you directly.”





Ambush predators are scarier than the ones that are standing right in front of you, unless you’re on Zendikar.  Then they’re equally terrifying.





They resumed their trek along the hall, walking with even more care than they had before. The corridor widened into a parlor of sorts, the faded wallpaper giving way to peeling velour patterned with wide-winged moths picked out in green and gray against the pale rose background. Each moth had multiple eyespots on their wings, creating an eerie sensation of being watched.





Moths are going to be recurring motif in this house, in case you hadn’t picked up on that yet.  If you can see a moth, the house can see you.





Zimone frowned, looking from her monitor to the room and back again. “One of Nashi’s drones kept transmitting all the way to the end of the hall,” she said. “This isn’t the same room that it recorded. How is that …?”





Oh, Zimone, you sweet summer child.  This house has such sights to show you.





“The most dangerous labyrinths can rearrange themselves when left to their own devices,” said Niko. “Nothing says those are unique to Theros.”





I like it when characters can reasonably bring aspects of their home Planes and cultures into the situations they’re in.  It helps to ground them, and gives us information about the places they come from.





Kaito nodded. “We don’t know whether it can only move when no one’s looking. We stay close together. Someone should be able to see you at all times, understand?”





“Yes,” said Niko.





Look at Kaito being tactical and clever!





His training had involved learning more than he would have thought possible about the movement of air. Swift-Arm had been insistent that understanding space would make it easier for that space to be exploited to suit a warrior’s needs. Under his tutelage, Kaito had learned how to step into a room and feel from the way the air moved against his skin whether he was the first to disturb it recently, or whether he was walking just behind someone who had slipped out another door.





This is a real thing.  If you’ve ever walked into a room that’s been empty for a while, vs. a room where someone else has just left, you’ll have experienced it, if not to the degree that Kaito can.  People can actually feel when or if someone else has been in a space.  It’s all down to the way the air moves.  As a ninja from Kamigawa, Kaito takes this skill to a preternatural level.





“The … air?” asked Niko.





Zimone, meanwhile, nodded enthusiastically. “It’s a well-documented phenomenon. Haven’t you ever walked into a room and been absolutely sure that you just missed someone?”





Niko nodded, more grudgingly. “Yes.”





“And haven’t you usually been right when you felt that way? Well, that’s because your instincts are keyed to the presence of danger on a level the conscious mind can’t normally access. They can tell by the way the air hits your skin whether it’s been disturbed recently. Some people can learn to read that sense on a conscious level. But it’s very unusual. It takes a lot of training.”





This is all true.  Our Zimone, dropping science knowledge!





“That’s our Kaito,” said Tyvar brightly. “Master of subtlety.”





“So why do I like you again?”





“Because our foes are so preoccupied by my brilliance that it makes your job easier,” said Tyvar.





Kaito and Tyvar are my favorite pair.





“He’s smarter than he lets on,” said Kaito. “But subtle, he’s not.”





I love Tyvar for what he is, and not for what he isn’t.





The picture it contained looked printed rather than painted, showing a family of three—man, woman, and teenage daughter—all turned toward the original painter. The faces of the adults had been scratched out, reduced to white scabs on the paper, while the daughter continued to smile serenely at the people in the room.





Something terrible has happened to Marina’s parents.  “Something terrible” was Duskmourn’s school nickname.





Niko stepped forward. “When we did labyrinth exercises back on Theros, we would search in a pattern to help us be sure we didn’t miss anything. We take the right-hand turn and keep following to the right until and unless we wind up back where we started. That way we’re never lost, and we know what we haven’t looked at yet.”





It makes sense that Niko would know a lot about labyrinths.  It also makes sense that they would be entirely wrong when trying to apply that knowledge to Duskmourn.





Following Niko’s route through the House took them through a nonsensical jumble of rooms, connecting to one another with neither rhyme nor reason, kitchens leading into bedrooms, bedrooms leading into conservatories.





These can be real architectural features, but they’re not common, and nothing is truly impossible when set against the number of home designs in the world.  It’s finding them all in one place that’s weird.





One echoing room seemed to have been constructed to contain an indoor swimming pool that was still half-filled with dark, murky water, its surface blooming with algae and broad, improbable water lilies. Their flowers were a bruised pinkish white, like the flesh of a drowned sailor, and Niko shivered as they looked at it, turning their face away.





I admit, I will always picture this pool when thinking of Islands on Duskmourn.





This was as far from the wine-dark seas of Theros as they could imagine, and they had seen quite a lot during their travels—their imagination was wide.





You can’t really talk about Theros without at least one poetic kenning.  “The wine-dark sea” is one of my favorites, sourcing from Homer’s Odyssey.





Barely wide enough to encompass the next room, which lay beyond a set of tall glass doors with moths worked into their metal frames. In the vast space on the other side, an abandoned funfair loomed above a field of rustling, unharvested corn, ears hanging heavy on their stalks and rotting where they fell. The funfair bore little resemblance to the traveling games of Theros, but the commonalities were enough to make the tents and rough constructs of wood and steel make sense. Nothing moved there but the wind.





If I have a chance to include a creepy carnival, I will include a creepy carnival.  No matter the cost.





“We found an exit,” said Kaito, beginning to step forward. Zimone caught his arm. He stopped to look at her, and she pointed up, at the lightless sky.





Not so much…





“Look,” she said, and called a small fractal equation into being, mathematics made magical and manifest. It leapt from her hand, shedding blue and green light as it hung in the air a few feet above their heads.





The light it shed wasn’t much, but it glinted off distant panes of glass, making it obvious that even this impossible place was part of the House. The rustling of the corn seemed suddenly sinister. If they were indoors, there could be no breeze, and without a breeze, why was it moving?





Velociraptors, probably.  That would be one reason for it to be moving.





“Royalty speaks in commands, and commoners answer in action,” said Tyvar, amiably enough, and the group turned away from the looming, terrible shapes of the deserted amusements, moving back into the room with the pool.





“Where I’m from, we elect our leaders,” muttered Niko, and Tyvar laughed.





As a prince, Tyvar knows whereof he speaks.  But he has no issue taking orders.





The water looked no less dangerous on their return visit, and no less likely to drag down anyone who got too close. Keeping close to the wall, they walked on, back through a door that should have taken them into a pantry filled with half-empty jars and bushels of rotting root vegetables. Instead, they found themselves crossing an echoing ballroom, cobweb-snarled chandeliers dangling overhead and cracks patterning the windows.





The house is rearranging itself as they go.  The labyrinth tricks aren’t going to save them.





Tyvar scoffed. “It’s only a house. How large can it be?”





Tyvar.  Sweetheart.  No.





“Large,” said the Wanderer. Collectively, they switched their attention to her. She pressed one hand to her temple, shaking her head. “This place is … I can’t walk the planes any longer, but I can still feel them, the way I did when they pulled me across the Blind Eternities without my consent. This place is wrong. It feels encased, like a moth caught in amber, and rotting from within. I’m not sure anything remains of what was once here except the House.”





Being in Duskmourn for the Wanderer is like someone prone to migraines attending a show with lots of flashing lights and smoke effects.  Her planar sense doesn’t get along with the place.





“There are some fungi that will swallow entire hillsides if allowed to grow unchecked,” said Tyvar, uncertainly.





I should not have used the word “uncertainly” to describe anything Tyvar was doing.  My bad.





“The door vanished,” said Niko.





“We’re pretty smart,” said Zimone. “Collectively, I mean. I bet we can figure out how to make the door come back.”





“So, we backtrack,” said Kaito. “This way.”





I would actually have liked to see them try.





They began to move, but had only taken a few steps before someone screamed, deeper in the House, beyond one of the left-hand doorways they had been ignoring during their methodical progress. Tyvar jerked to attention like a hunting hound hearing a huntsman’s horn. The voice screamed again.





Tyvar is far too much the hero to ignore someone screaming for help, and the House knows it, already.





HELP ME HELP ME OH SWEET SUNS HELP ME!” it howled.





There were two suns before there was the House.





Tyvar’s thin leash on his own heroic urges snapped, and he took off running, shouting, “Fear not! I shall save you!”





My sweet golden retriever boy.





Zimone’s eyes widened. Years of dealing with impulsive Prismari underclassmen had honed her reflexes to a fine point.





Prismari is the blue/red college of elemental expression.  They have big feelings, and those feelings often explode.





When someone raced toward danger, it was often down to her to pull them back, so they’d still be alive to pull her back when she started wandering toward danger in a more academic manner. She ran after Tyvar.





This doesn’t mean that Zimone’s college, Quandrix, is any less inclined to risk their lives for learning.  They’re just less likely to become a thin film across the landscape in the process.





On the other side of the door was an empty hall. There was no one there. No one in danger, no one screaming, only Tyvar, slowing in confusion as he registered the lack of someone in need of rescue. Zimone caught up to him, putting a hand on his elbow.





Poor Tyvar.





“We all did. I think the House is playing tricks.” She glanced back over her shoulder, then froze, paling. “That, or it heard us say we didn’t want to split the party and thought it would make the decision easier for us.”





“Houses don’t think,” said Tyvar, half-laughing as he turned to follow her gaze.





“Yeah, well, apparently neither do elven princes, because here we are,” said Zimone.





Savage but accurate.





Behind them, where the doorway back to the ballroom should have been, was a wall, papered in faded blue and patterned with more of those ever present, increasingly ominous moths. These had long, swooping tails on their hind wings, giving the impression that they were melting off the paper.





No door.  Just wall.  No privacy.  Only moths.  No way out.  Didn’t you listen to the episode title?





“I thought you never missed!” said Kaito, wheeling on Niko, who was staring at their hands in confusion. “Why didn’t your shard stop her?”





“I … I don’t,” said Niko. “I never miss.”





So that’s what shattered next to Zimone’s head as she was running: one of Niko’s shards.





To answer a characterization question someone asked me elsewhere, Niko left their home Plane because they didn’t want their destiny dictated for them by the gods.  They are very much about choosing their own destiny and not being forced into something they didn’t agree to.  Their spark was what let them leave.  Having it effectively stolen without their consent isn’t sitting well with them—and neither is the fact that when Theros was in danger, they weren’t there.  They were fighting for Kaldheim at the time, but thought they’d be able to go home easily when it was over.  They couldn’t.





“And you didn’t,” said the Wanderer. “The doorway moved as Tyvar passed through it. Not very far, but enough to skew your aim. Zimone was already running, she adjusted without thought. This was a trap.”





Niko never misses, but the House interfered.





“I trust Tyvar.”





“The man who just ran off into certain danger at the first excuse?” Niko shook their head. “I saw him try to arm wrestle a giant once, because he thought it would make a good story. He may not worship Birgi, but he’s one of hers, no question. I like him, but trust him? To choose safety over glory? I don’t think so.”





Birgi is the Kaldheim god of storytelling.  If she can’t find a good story, she’ll make one.  Sometimes by causing a riot.





The floor he stepped onto opened like the mouth of a lamprey, wide and circular and ringed with jagged, downward-facing teeth. Kaito fell, barely managing to jam his sword into the remaining sliver of the floor before he dropped entirely out of sight. The Wanderer lunged for him, shouting his name as she reached. He reached back, and their fingertips almost brushed before the hole in the floor gaped wider, dislodging his sword, and Kaito fell into the blackness, Himoto’s eyes the only light that tracked his descent.





Splitting Kaito and the Wanderer dramatically apart is too much fun and I should not be allowed to do it, but also the lamprey-mouth makes me really happy.  If it doesn’t make you happy, don’t Google lamprey mouths.  That will make you sad.





The Wanderer tensed as if to jump after him, only to stop when Niko grabbed her wrist. She looked back at them, disbelieving, and they shook her head.





They did not shake her head.  They shook their head.  Something must have crept in during formatting.





“No,” they said. “Not even for Kaito. He’s the only one of us who can get out on his own. He’s got this.”





If your Planeswalker falls into a hole, you let the hole have them.





“But he’s alone,” she said. “He’s alone in this house, where everything is wrong, and everything is rotting.”





Poor Wanderer.





Tyvar hammered on the wall with both fists, sending up a terrible din and bringing cascades of dust down from the crown molding at the top of the walls.





“Kaito! Niko! Very pleasant swordswoman without a name!” he shouted. “Can you hear us?”





I think “Very pleasant swordswoman without a name” is one of my favorite lines from this story as a whole, not just this episode.





“I don’t think they can,” said Zimone. She had her monitor out again and was facing away from the wall. “Tyvar …”





“What?”





“Problem.”





“I feel we have those in plenty,” he said, and turned.





Understatement of the year, buddy.  But Tyvar and Zimone are wonderful as a pair when it comes to bouncing off one another, aren’t they?





Another character note: why did Tyvar get mad when Aminatou introduced the fateshifters?  If you look at what she actually says, she leads with “they can be used to evade horrifying ends.”  He knows she was a Planeswalker during the Invasion, and he lost so many people.  He lost his literal god on Kaldheim.  Her saying that she could have helped people not die in brutal, distorting ways, and didn’t, well…that goes counter to all his ideals of heroism and how a story ought to go.





They were no longer in a hallway. It had been replaced by a massive, towering library at least three stories in height, the ceiling above them open in a sort of central courtyard shape to show the levels above. Wrought-iron railings shaped into moth wings and spreading branches surrounded each layer of the opening, presumably to keep people from falling to their deaths. The walls were lined with shelves, each one groaning under the weight of dusty books crammed in until no space remained.





Welcome home, Zimone.





“Quantum superposition,” she replied. At Tyvar’s blank look, she explained, “It’s the observer effect. It holds true in physics. In some forms of magic, too.





Science girl is gonna science the shit out of this situation.





Some interpretations of the Vorzani Conjecture say that the Multiverse itself seeks observation, in the form of people capable of seeing it from multiple directions at once—I haven’t proven it yet, but I’d posit that’s part of why the opening of connections between planes has been met with a matching decrease in the number of people who can travel them under their own power. The Multiverse can remain stable and observed without that investment of resources.”





The Vorzani Conjecture was introduced in Strixhaven: School of Mages, and contains the keys to unlocking infinity.  It made sense to relate it back to the concept of quantum superposition in the context of Magic.





“I see.” He looked back to the wall, relieved to find it was still there, not replaced by a bookshelf or another endless hall. “Is there any reason to think this wall is loadbearing in any way?”





“Not that I can see,” said Zimone. “Why?”





And now, punching.





In answer, Tyvar’s skin rippled, taking on the hardwood sheen of the floor beneath his feet, and he pulled back his arm, slamming his fist into the wall hard enough to send fractures racing through the wood beneath the wallpaper.





“Ah,” said Zimone. “Violence.”





I love this moment so very much.





She should probably stay and watch him fight the wall. She knew that. Looking away risked losing him. But the sound of him punching his way into the body of the House was loud and consistent enough that she wasn’t particularly worried about him disappearing without a trace: sometimes being the elvish equivalent of a Lorehold stone mover had its advantages. So she turned and began scanning the shelves around them, making note of the titles she saw represented there, seeking patterns.





Zimone, you cannot logic your way out of everything.





Zimone flicked her fingers, unspooling a cascading spiral of energy. “Take one end of this with you,” she said, pushing it toward him. “I’ll keep the other one, and hopefully that means we won’t lose each other.”





It’s nice to be able to use someone’s established magic in an interesting and innovative way.





She should go with him. She knew that. But the books—the lost knowledge of an entire plane, however dangerous, wasn’t something she could walk away from easily. Holding tightly to the end of her ribbon of fractal light, she stepped closer to the nearest shelf, trying to decide where to begin.





Tyvar frowned a little as he caught the end of Zimone’s thread, watching her move closer to the books. He knew a lure when he saw one. Many monsters used them to catch their prey. Give the appearance of sweetness and something truly desired, and they could take things far too canny to be snared.





“Zimone …”





He’s not wrong.





He tied the fractal thread around his wrist, then stepped through the hole he’d opened in the wall and began climbing up. The walls of the stairwell were decorated with painted portraits of ordinary people, humans and elves, which became more distorted and wrong as he continued onward. Teeth extended into fangs, hands into claws, and smiles grew too wide for the faces that wore them, until it seemed like their heads should split in two. Tyvar shuddered and kept walking.





Humans and elves are both native to Duskmourn, and it makes sense that their portraits would be here.





After Phyrexia, anything which distorted the body without the invitation of its owner transcended horror, becoming a violation of the natural order of things. True, these people could have sought their transformations, but there was a glinting despair in their painted eyes that made him think they had done no such thing. He walked through a gallery of nightmares, and he was well pleased when he saw a doorway up ahead at the next landing. He walked faster.





Tyvar is a transmuter.  That doesn’t mean he’s down with the body horror.





“I’m going to take a bold stance and say that I don’t like it here,” said Niko. “It’s pretty awful, actually.”





Niko, saying what we’re all thinking.





The Wanderer cracked a slight smile—her first since Kaito’s disappearance. “I think you’ll find general agreement for that position.”





She’s not humorless, just frequently very serious.





“Nashi, yes. His mother was very dear to me, and I owe his family a great debt. She died in the invasion.”





“I’m sorry to hear that.”





“I was sorry to kill her.”





Niko shook their head. “If she died in the invasion, you didn’t kill her. Phyrexia did. You just made sure it would stick.”





I think this is an important distinction to make, even if the Wanderer herself isn’t making it yet.





They were in a cold room with stone floors, heavy iron chains hanging from the ceiling, the hooks at their ends driven into massive cuts of meat. The Wanderer scanned the raw, skinned bodies, relieved when she saw nothing that appeared either human or nezumi. The House didn’t bring them here to gloat over Nashi’s death, at least.





I have been in this room in a hundred haunted attractions.  It’s a classic.





The Wanderer drew her sword, taking up a fighting stance, while Niko pulled several shards of magic out of the air, rotating them above their fingertips. The pair prepared for the battle sure to come, and, as such, were entirely unprepared for the hands which reached out from behind them and yanked them hard behind the nearest hanging, flensed behemoth.





Enter Winter, our intrepid local guide.





Whatever it had been in life, it had resembled some sort of sloth, all solid muscle and long limbs tipped in wicked claws. Now it was a serviceable wall.





Out first Beastie!





Niko and the Wanderer whirled, ready to fight. The pale, narrow-faced man who had pulled them behind the beast backed away, hands up like he was trying to ward them off. He pressed a finger to his lips, pulling a sheet of paper out of his pocket and holding it out to them.





There, written in several scripts, including Theran and Kamigawan, was the phrase BE QUIET. It didn’t translate exactly; the Kamigawan text read UTTER NO SOUND. But the meaning was the same, no matter what.





We don’t get to deal with language often.  It’s mostly an area we try to elide as much as possible.  I was delighted to be able to work it in here.





“Razorkin,” said the stranger. “The ones you find in the Floodpits aren’t used to hearing sounds not echoed through water. You can distract them, sometimes. That was a big one. You wouldn’t want to fight it head-on. You’d lose.”





Razorkin are one of the big threats House has to offer: think Jason or Leatherface.  They’re nasty, cruel, and used to be Survivors, meaning they know how to make you hurt.





Niko, meanwhile, was giving the newcomer a frank once-over. He had spiky, scraggly black hair and wore a long, loose jacket-vest over clothing that looked like it had been patched together from a dozen different sources; Niko was sure some of the pieces had originally been wallpaper. “What’s your name?” they asked.





I just love the image of using wallpaper and bits of scavenged carpet to keep your clothes looking as fresh as possible.  Vanity survives in the worst of circumstances.





“Winter.”





“And how long have you lived in the House, Winter?”





As a Survivor, Winter was named after something they no longer have in Duskmourn.  Which is grim.





“All my life,” said the stranger. He shrugged. “There isn’t anything else. The House is the world, and the world is the House, and once it has hold of you, there’s nowhere else to go. You’ll see that soon, if you don’t already.”





“You belong to Duskmourn now.”





…also grim.

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