Mira Grant knows where you live.

[seanan_mcguire]

It's time for today's TOTALLY SILLY CONTEST!

So I'm doing the web content for MiraGrant.com. Those of you familiar with my main website may have noticed that I have multiple bios, some of them deeply, deeply silly in nature, posted on the site. Since Mira doesn't have quite the history I do, and I haven't had the chance to solicit bios for her from my friends, I need something to guarantee the depth of content to which my readers have become accustomed (OCD cat is OCD). So!

You know Chuck Norris?

That.

I'm looking for UTTERLY INSANE statements about Mira Grant. Things like "Mira Grant isn't afraid of the thing under your bed. Mira Grant is the thing under your bed." Or "Mira Grant goes down to the quarry any time she damn well wants to."

Leave your suggestions as comments on this post. I will collect the best (and weirdest) for posting on Mira's website, because I have no hobbies that don't involve utter insanity. There will be prizes! I don't know what those prizes will be, but they, too, will probably be a little odd. (Sadly, I can't promise a copy of Feed until I've done some local accounting, but there will be something.)

Come on. You know you want to.

Comments

[jayene.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant doesn't sit down to type, she glares at the page and the story appears. (Don't we wish.)

[markbernstein.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant can watch Buffy accept the Class Protector Award without crying.

Wow, she is tough!

[evaleastaristev.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant hunts Serial Killers. She finds they taste the best.

[argonel.livejournal.com]

Only cats are able to perceive people who disparaged Mira Grant.

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

Robot overlords serve Mira Grant.

Mira Grant is the evil twin.

Mira Grant thinks the recipes in the Anarchist's Cookbook could use some more pepper.

Mira Grant calls zombies up for her morning workouts.

Mira Grant holds us all within her mind.

Mira Grant uses weapons because she's trying to make zombie combat more challenging. If she simply uses the force of her personality, it's over too quickly and she gets bored.

Mira Grant can ski through a revolving door, dribble a football, and lick her elbows.

Mira Grant put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop, the ram in the ramma-lamma-ding-dong, and the dip in the refrigerator. What, you think dip stays good forever?

[naurwen.livejournal.com]

Alone the mention of Mira Grant makes Freddie Krüger cry.
Mira Grant makes you think that her tricking on Halloween is a treat.
Mira Grant designed a zombie wear collection.
Mira Grant is secretly called *mommy* by Darth Vader.
Mira Grant laughed when watching *Jurassic Park* - and petted her T-Rex' head.

[dornbeast.livejournal.com]

Like Stephen King, Mira Grant has the heart of a small child. She uses it as a cat toy.

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant does not need to give clues. Mira Grant is a clue, the only one you'll ever need.

[evaleastaristev.livejournal.com]

The NSA has tried to track Mira Grant's movements, but stopped when the Satalites broke every time they looked for her.

[danceswithlife]

Mira Grant was a little more than they expected.

[mskauri.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant's cat has two extra digits.


HEY!! MY cats (well, three of the six) have two extra digits!

[quettalinde.livejournal.com]

The next element to be named will be Grantium.

Mira Grant can walk through walls, but never gets the chance. The walls move out of her way too quickly.

Mira Grant has a lending library of haunted video tapes.

Spielberg, King, and Romero ask Mira Grant for story advice.

[markbernstein.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant invented the crossroads, and thereby the blues.

Mira Grant once resurrected a man just to watch him live.

Mira Grant is Out There.

Sheldon thinks Mira Grant is cooler than Leonard Nimoy.

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant can walk through walls, but never gets the chance. The walls move out of her way too quickly.
Well played.

[peachtess.livejournal.com]

Wow so many already. Here's mine.

You do not read a Mira Grant novel. The Mira Grant novel reads you.

Before Mira Grant's birth the Great Pumpkin sent a herald to proclaim her birth. Then after her birth while sleeping in a box of Stephan King novels Mira Grant was visited by three wise pumpkins.

Mira Grant doesn't crave her thanksgiving turkey with knives. She craftily craves it up with a chainsaw.

[vixyish.livejournal.com]

Have you and Mira Grant ever been seen in the same room at the same time?

[erisiansaint]

Mira Grant is researching obsessively to combine her major loves: research into strange diseases, and dinosaurs. She hopes to one day be able to create an airborne disease that will turn selected people into dinosaurs, which she will rule as Queen.

[mskauri.livejournal.com]

Yes, Mira Grant WOULD like fries with that.

Since the demise of NBC's "Must See TV," Mira Grant plays jai alai every Thursday evening.

Mira Grant's favorite food is YOU.

Mira Grant is terrifying, but wait until she introduces you to her "Evil Twin."

Just for fun, Mira Grant moonlights as Dr. Phil.

Mira Grant's philosophy on her own novels: Read 'em--OR WEEP

[scholarinexile.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant once challenged Death to a game for her soul. He cheated and lost anyway.

Mira Grant is behind you. Right now. Don't look.

Mira Grant led Orpheus out of Hades. She looked back the whole time.

[maniakes.livejournal.com]

Bubonic fever didn't cause the Black Death. Mira Grant did.

[sheistheweather]

I totally looked...she's invisible, too! D:

[asthecrowfly.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant is what happened to Roanoke.

Mira Grant invites the Jersey Devil and the Octupus that lives under the Tacoma Narrows Bridge and every other terrifying beast in the USA you have ever heard of over to her house every Tuesday. For poker.

Mira Grant cannot go to Vegas because her power over entropic forces would decimate the Vegas casino circuit. She doesn't care, because she likes Monte Carlo better.

Mira Grant is an intelligent, evolved virus in the shape of a girl.

Mira Grant is Typhoid Mary.

Mira Grant knows when the end of the world is coming.

Mira Grant knows when you will rise.

[danceswithlife]

Mira Grant orders a pizza with no anchovies, please.

[miintikwa.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant makes the evil monkey cry.

[mskauri.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant's favorite dates are prime numbers.

Mira Grant's favorite dinner dates are nicely muscled with some lovely marbled areas (for flavor).

Mira Grant quit her job at the DMV because they were "too nice to customers."

Mira Grant invented the "It's A Small World" ride at Disneyland.