I'll see you tomorrow.

[seanan_mcguire]

(Note: The following post discusses depression and suicide, quite frankly. If you want to skip it, I will understand. Also, I am calling a preemptive comment amnesty, because I don't know that I can get through whatever comments may be left. Thank you.)

***

Today is National Suicide Prevention Day. Today is the day where we turn to ourselves and to others, and say "I'll see you tomorrow," because we're trying to promise to stay, and we're trying to ask them to do the same. Because we're still here. Because some people aren't. Because depression lies. Because the path gets narrow.

I'm still here. I'm still here because Disneyland exists, and I can go there, even if it's not as often as I'd like. I'm still here because my cats don't understand why I ever leave the house at all, even when it's to buy them food and treats, and they would never stop waiting for me to come home. I'm still here because there are so many dogs I have yet to meet.

I'm still here because I still ache for some of the people who have gone, and I don't want to do that to anyone who loves me. I'm still here because some days I'm too much of a coward to pick up the razor, and other days I'm brave enough not to pick up the razor, and as long as it stays out of my hand, I'm okay. I'm still here because I know that depression lies, and when it gets too loud, I can ask other people to talk me through the silence.

I'm still here because the Counting Crows are on tour again, because there are movies I still need to see and books I still need to read and favorite songs I still need to hear for the very first time. I'm still here because the thought of strangers going through my things distresses me (and is the reason that sometimes very bad depressive patches will come with a lot of acquisitions). I'm still here because I haven't had the chance to write the X-Men yet, and when I do, I am going to change the world. I'm still here because I want to be, because I need to be, and because the fight is still worth fighting.

I'm still here because the world contains tomatoes. Because Lush has started making a blackcurrant frosting-scented shower gel. Because I really like television. Because the stories I tell matter to people, sometimes more than I could ever have dreamed. Because I want to see a lot of Broadway shows. Because I've never been to Japan, or New Zealand, or Wyoming. Because there are so many corn fields for me to run through, laughing, in the autumn sun. Because the Great Pumpkin loves me.

I'm still here.

Your reasons for still being here may not be the same as mine. They probably aren't. Everyone's reasons are different. But I hope you'll stay. I hope you'll find your reasons.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Comments

[cypherindigo.livejournal.com]

I will see you tomorrow.

May I link to this?

[stagemanager.livejournal.com]

I'll see you tomorrow.

Thank you.

[guendolen-sama.livejournal.com]

I think I needed to see something like this right now. I had things start out pretty rough, and I was feeling quite low and down on myself. Thank you for reminding me about all the good little things that are all reasons to keep going.

[bunny-m.livejournal.com]

Hey, you've got one reminder there in your icon.

寒い よる も
Even in the cold of night

[vulpine137.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Both for staying around, and for reminding people for all the reasons that can be found for staying around.

[ladybird97.livejournal.com]

Thank you for being so honest.

I'll see you tomorrow.

[gammelor.livejournal.com]

I'll see you tomorrow. And thank you for some good reasons to still be here tomorrow. For me, that includes reading A Red Rose Chain. Yes, I have it, pre-ordered multiple copies, as usual for Toby books, but I'm saving it, savoring the anticipation -- an incentive to be here tomorrow...

[kaberett.livejournal.com]

I will see you tomorrow. Thank you.

[anne_d]

I'll see you tomorrow, and thank you for being you, because you are a wonderful person.

[kshandra]

I'm still here, too.

I'll see you tomorrow.

[gothrockrulz.livejournal.com]

This is beautiful, thank you.

[catnip13.livejournal.com]

<3

[talekyn.livejournal.com]

I will see you tomorrow.

[anna-en-route.livejournal.com]

Thank you.
You make a huge difference in the world and I'm grateful that you're in it.
I'll see you tomorrow.

[wulfsdottir.livejournal.com]

I'll see you tomorrow.

And if you decide to visit Wyoming, I can offer some tips on things to see or places to eat here. And possibly a local guide fluent in introvert if desired.

[eoforyth.livejournal.com]

See you tomorrow :}

[nelc.livejournal.com]

I'm still alive because I want to back to Japan. Because it's beautiful.

See you tomorrow!

[mythusmage.livejournal.com]

Seanan, have you ever been diagnosed for autism? I was in 2005 and the diagnosis explained a lot. Such as why I'm so easily disappointed and discouraged by the uncaring and thoughtless.

Just remember you're not alone, and that a snarky sense of humor can be a great help.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

How is that an even remotely appropriate question on a post where I have said I claim comment amnesty, meaning comments will go unanswered, and which talks about my issues with depression?

No, I do not have autism. I do have OCD, which is a related condition, and which I have talked about, openly, repeatedly, on this blog.

[taldragon.livejournal.com]

thank you for staying. we'll definitely see you tomorrow!

[gwynnega]

Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow.

[scarletandjade.livejournal.com]

Thank you. For all of it. We'll definitely see you tomorrow.

[scarletandjade.livejournal.com]

Thank you. For all of it. We'll definitely see you tomorrow.

[naurwen.livejournal.com]

Definitely see you tomorrow! :)
And thank you for this post. Everyone's got their own personal reasons, some may seem big, some may seem small - to others. Each reason is precious.

[dornbeast.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you have reasons to stay.

I'll see you tomorrow.

[chihana11.livejournal.com]

I'll see you tomorrow.

[sanacrow.livejournal.com]

I'll see you tomorrow.

Thank you for being one of my reasons to stay. You've been a lifesaver. And through your LJ and your Tumbler and your music and your stories you've been a major contributing factor to me finding the resources for a safety net, and a long-term dream to hold on to. Thank you.