There are lines. Please stop crossing them.

[seanan_mcguire]

When I posted about depression, I said that I was giving myself comment amnesty; I said that I might not (probably would not) read the comments.

Since then, people have contacted me via email (when they had it), via my old email (which I rarely check), via my contact form, via Facebook, and via my Tumblr, to give me their phone numbers, to tell me not to hurt myself (which I did not threaten to do), to provide crisis hotlines, to make suggestions about medication (which I did not solicit), and in one case, to threaten to report me to the police as a suicide risk if I did not update my blog immediately to show that I was still alive.

Please. Stop. "Comment amnesty" did not mean "work harder to make sure that your words, your well wishes, your specific need to engage with my depression will be heard." I try to keep open dialogs on this blog, and I usually appreciate communication, but right now, this contact is intrusive, and upsetting, and seems to prioritize the needs of the contacting person above mine. Please. Stop.

This is why I do not talk when I am sad.

Comments

[capplor.livejournal.com]

Just a stupid question: Is this blog meant to be read by friends or fans? I consider myself your friend (also fan, but mainly friend), but I know I"m not your "inner circle". I'm aware of them and trust that if you really needed help on that front, they would be better aware and more capable than I am of helping you. (But if you needed MY help, I'd give it).

I'm not surprised people who don't know you as well as I do are over-reacting. They may not know what good friends you have and fear that they COULD stop a suicide attempt and would feel responsible if they didn't. (Long distance, e-mail? I know MY writing chops aren't up to that.)

I didn't comment on the last post because "suicide" in my mind makes less sense than "emotion" to a Vulcan. Call me lucky; I'm not being smug; it just isn't there. I hope you keep the good friends and keep remembering what you mean to them/us.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

This is a fan blog, run for my fans. That is why I made the post. It is too often easy to say "I am the only one who feels this way," and for better or for worse, right now, my voice has reach. People who needed to see those words written down may grant them credence because they came from me.

That does not justify ignoring my clearly stated wishes. That does not justify ascribing motivations which I did not ascribe to myself. That does not justify willfully invading my privacy out of "worry." This is why it's important that people who will be heard speak up: because people react like this, which makes saying anything at all virtually impossible.

[museclio]

This. Seanan has *friends*. We are fans on the internet. I assume that if Seanan needs help, that help will come from her friends, not a random woman in DC who loves her books.

You were *super* clear that you were talking about what was going on in your head not making a threat, or in immediate crisis. You said comment amnesty. How much more clear can you bloody well get?

[gement.livejournal.com]

Seemed pretty amazingly clear to me. You listed your on-going coping strategies (which I found really helpful, by the way), which can only be interpreted as "OMG IMMEDIATE INTERVENTION" by people who have never been anywhere near depression (and thus are not qualified to give advice), or people who are willfully indulging a hero complex.