Oh sweet Great Pumpkin cats are hard on the heart.

[seanan_mcguire]

Thomas can open doors.

Thomas has been able to open doors for a while now.

Thomas has never previously opened the front door. So this was new.

I got up to get ready for bed and discovered the front door of the house standing open, and an utter absence of cats. This, naturally, triggered INSTANT HYSTERIA, and lots of frenzied cat-calling, which probably frightened the neighbors.

Lilly came immediately, looking faintly ashamed of herself, and limping slightly. Thomas was in the yard, sniffing things, and came when called. I closed the door and turned to inspect Lilly's paw...during which pause Thomas OPENED THE DOOR again and let himself back outside.

I retrieved Thomas, called my mother, put on trousers, went outside, locked the door, and began searching the neighborhood for Alice. I found her halfway down the block, investigating someone's garden. I got her to come by clanging a can of wet food with a fork. She's mad now because she didn't get treats. I'm mad because, well. ESCAPING ISN'T COOL. Poor Vixy got me calling her in hysterics, wailing about how they got out.

All three cats are fine and uninjured. I cannot sleep. I have notified work that I'm going to be in late tomorrow, because there's no way I'm sleeping in the next hour. And from now on, the front door is locked even when I'm in the house.

Stupid cats.

Comments

[indilwen.livejournal.com]

Those little sneaks!
I'm so glad that you found them all, and that they're okay.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Me, too.

[jenrose]

I have a child like this. Her primary playspace has no doorknob installed. We use the lever and put it up out of her reach every time. She has been known to climb high places, get the lever down, carry it over to the door, and use it to open the door. She's once gotten out the front door that way. It's a huge amount of problem solving for a kid who can't say her own name or walk more than 8 feet without falling down.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

...you're right. That's IMPRESSIVE.

[taraljc.livejournal.com]

Your cats, dood. Seriously. *hugs*

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

They're evil.

[georgiamagnolia.livejournal.com]

OH! My sympathies. Once upon a time I had three cats (and two tanks of fish and a hamster and 78 houseplants inna one bedroom apartment, but no pear tree) and lived in fear of such a thing happening. *having heart palpitations along with you* I am glad everyone is home safe. (and no, no longer have any of those *sad*)

*pets and snuggles for all*

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

They scared the life out of me, I swear.

[branna.livejournal.com]

Very clever stupid cat, in Thomas's case. I am extremely glad they are all OK and safe home.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Yeah, basically. He's so smart he's an idiot.

[sheistheweather]

So glad they are all safe and sound. Mei-mei did that a few times when she was alive, and it was terrifying.

[damiana-swan.livejournal.com]

Oh dear gods. I think maybe Betsy needs to re-think her breeding program a bit--cats who *don't need thumbs* to take over the world could, um, become a problem. More of one, I mean.

*hugs and sympathy*

[ladyqkat.livejournal.com]

They need to audition for this British commercial.

[jenk]

OMG panic. So glad they're okay. skydancer suggests a childproof door handle cover (assuming door round handles). jw1776 suggests deadbolt.

[jw1776.livejournal.com]

Key-only deadbolt. That way only of Thomas can pick locks would you have to worry.

[tikiera.livejournal.com]

I recommend a deadbolt. It's the locking mechanism that my cats that could open doors never managed to open.

[tikiera.livejournal.com]

And thank goodness you were able to find them. I understand that hysteria well. Was Lilly's paw okay?

[archangelsmom.livejournal.com]

How about one of those chain-bolt things, just remember to lock whenever YOU are in the house; and a deadbolt for when you leave. I empathize with your palpitations.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Chain-bolting my housemate out might be taken as an act of war.

[martianmooncrab.livejournal.com]

I had to use the deadbolt on my front door in Naples Italy, because my Tigger kitty could open the door. Nothing like the feeling of waking up at 3 am and looking outside like that.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Absolutely terrifying.

[filceolaire.livejournal.com]

Surely a cat that can open the door is smart enough to find it's way home? That's why we have a cat-flap; so the cat get out when she wants without leaving the door open.

Sure she occasionally brings home a half dead songbird but the foxes leave us alone.

[droewyn.livejournal.com]

That's a really bad idea for suburban or city dwellers. In such areas, the average life span of an outdoor cat is less than five years.

Your neighborhood may vary; around here if I let my cats out it would probably be a death sentence.

[mel-redcap.livejournal.com]

My aunt's friend used to breed Siamese cats, and one time I got to visit and watch as her tom took the latest litter around the house, teaching them how to open all the doors. She'd long since changed the front and back door locks (on very old, old-fashioned, MASSIVELY THICK HARDWOOD doors, that was a production) so he couldn't actually get out, but had resigned herself to the fact that shutting the cats in or out of a room never worked. :P

*hugs* So glad your kitties are all fine, I hope Lilly's paw is nothing serious. Locking doors is good!

[hoppytoad79.livejournal.com]

one time I got to visit and watch as her tom took the latest litter around the house, teaching them how to open all the doors.

*falls over laughing* The mental image is hysterical. Wish I could've seen it.

[triskelmoon.livejournal.com]

OMGOMG, that is not cool. I am glad you did not have a heart attack, sheesh.

Which reminds me, I should likely keep an eye on my doors as yuki_onna found out the maine coon I adopted last fall is Callan's sire. *eyes smart cat*

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Yeeeeeah that would be a good plan.

[mithriltabby]

ACK! I’m so glad you got them all back so easily, and I hope Lilly’s paw is OK.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Lilly is fine. I want to skin the three of them, but everyone's fine.

[sweetmusic-27.livejournal.com]

Oh, HONEY. 0___0 I hope you sleep okay, and that the locking thing works.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Three cats when I woke up this morning, so here's hoping.

[amanda-nye.livejournal.com]

So glad they're safe, and hope Lilly heals quickly.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

She's already fine.

[dave-ifversen.livejournal.com]

I understand the panic all too well - Both Tally and Chaucer (our 2 male Maine Coons) can open doors. In addition to that, Tally taught himself how to open the sliding screen door on the french doors to the deck (we sometimes open the french doors to get a breeze through the house). Ange came out to the dining room one day, found the screen door open, and Tally sitting on the deck looking around. She yelled at him and he (rather sheepishly) came back in the house. Needless to say, the screen door now remains locked so he can't do a repeat performance. Chaucer is unlikely to open a door to the outside - he doesn't want *anything* to do with outside, other than sitting in a window (safely behind a screen) and looking out.

The front door has a knob that Tally can't turn - not that he hasn't tried. He knows how the knob works, and tries to turn it, but his lack of opposable thumbs has thwarted him so far. All the rest of the doors in the house have paddle handles that we installed back when Ange's mom was living with us (her arthritis gave her problems with regular doorknobs).

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Damn smart cats with the size and leverage to scare the wits out of us.

[wee-warrior.livejournal.com]

Let's try this again... glad everyone is back safe and sound. Having hunted after various kitties outside I can definitely feel you.

Does your Thomas have extra toes or is he just that crafty by himself?

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

He is just that crafty.

[hoppytoad79.livejournal.com]

You really, really need to contact Pinecoon and find out if they didn't actually give you midgets wearing cat suits. ;) I'm glad everyone was found and is okay. I think you need to put GPS tracking chips in the cats, just to be safe.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

They're actually otters.

[madfilkentist]

Cats with opposable thumbs. The world is now doomed.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Yeah, our dominion now is ended.

[droewyn.livejournal.com]

That's how the chipmunk wound up behind the fridge the other day -- someone managed to open the sliding screen. Cats got out, very stupid rodent got in.

Glad all your fuzzy people made it home!

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Me, too. I would still be in the yard, screaming.

[vincentursus.livejournal.com]

Ah, so your cats have superpowers too.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Yeah. :(

[sysrae.livejournal.com]

My childhood cat could open doors with turn-handles: she'd jump up, wrap her paws around the knob, swing to jimmy the latch, butt the door with her head, and then repeat until the door swung open. It was really disconcerting the first time we actually witnessed this process, because up until then, the only doors she'd been interested in opening had us on the other side, so we didn't know how she was managing to get in. Thomas, though, sounds scary-smart.

Also, out of curiosity: why aren't your cats allowed outside? Do you live near a big road, or is this a difference between Australian and American cat-owners?

[starmalachite.livejournal.com]

Not presuming to speak for Seanan, but 1 BIG reason: coyotes. Their range has spread to include most of the continental US. I've seen them in my suburban neighborhood in the Virginia suburbs of Washington DC. They have been reported as far north as the Pennsylvania-New York border. They like nothing better than a tasty snack of roaming pet (including small dogs).

And yes, in much of the US, *everybody* lives near a big road.

And then there's asshole humans, often with guns.

We rescued our latest kitten from a hotel parking lot where she was in danger from all 3. I'm not disposed to let her face them again.

[tallisdawn.livejournal.com]

Too smart for their own good! Glad mine have never figured that one out!

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Yes. You should be glad.