Letters to the world.

[seanan_mcguire]

Dear Lilly and Alice;

I love you more than I love just about anything else in the world, including candy corn and my My Little Pony collection, but seriously, if you wake me up at two in the morning to ask me to open the window one more time, you're going to be mittens. I can get new cats. Better cats. Cats that won't do that kind of shit.

Annoyed,
Your human.

*

Dear My Little Pony collection;

You're made of plastic. Please stop reproducing when you think I'm not looking. I am rapidly running out of shelf space. Last night, cleaning out the random accessory bin, I found complete sets of Pony Wear from 1982. This is becoming creepy. Cut it out.

Spooked,
Your collector.

*

Dear retail outlets of the world;

Halloween is my favorite holiday, and I really appreciate that you've noticed how stressed I am and are trying to take steps to reduce my unhappiness, but the fact that you're already putting out the Halloween decorations is a little bit disturbing. It's August. Since you're not selling Halloween-themed school supplies (which you totally should be), this seems a little unfair to the people heading back to class and just trying to find a cheap number two pencil.

I would really appreciate it if you'd go back to putting out the Halloween decorations in mid- to late-September, and then leave them up until, I don't know, Halloween. That way, the stores wouldn't suddenly be set for Thanksgiving while last-minute shoppers are trying to get their candy for trick-or-treat, and we might not have time for the Christmas music to make us actively homicidal before the end of the season.

Just a thought.

Respectfully,
Your customer.

*

Dear candy corn;

Om nom nom nom nom.

Nom,
Your consumer.

*

Dear Great Pumpkin;

O He who is in the patch down the street where they give hayrides in that sort of rickety-looking tractor, hallowed be thy name. May you be adored and adorned with candles, spooky faces, and, when the time is come for your death and resurrection, with graham cracker crust and sweet whipped cream. May you rise to walk the haunted corn mazes and the suburban streets, delighting the faithful and frightening the unbeliever with your fixed and luminous grin.

Great Pumpkin, I will write you more thoroughly later, but I just wanted to say, you da squash, thank you for the candy corn, and I hope to have an incredible, amazing time in Australia, where they have weird blue zombie pumpkins, which just reinforces my belief that it is, in fact, the promised land. Thank you for everything, Great Pumpkin.

Trick or treat,
Seanan.

Comments

[technoshaman.livejournal.com]

blue zombie pumpkins

This thread is useless without pictures.

[keristor.livejournal.com]

This thread is useless without pictures.

Here you are. Some of it is blue, but not zombie pumpkin. Sad...

[bercilakslady.livejournal.com]

Seanan, I'm not sure, but I think you might be talking about these pumpkins, right?

http://www.specialtyproduce.com/index.php?item=5485

[tithenai.livejournal.com]

I can get new cats. Better cats. Cats that won't do that kind of shit.

No, you can't. It's in the job description. The union would have a fit.

[lavenderfae9.livejournal.com]

Yep, I agree. Believing you can get cats that won't do that kind of shit is clearly delusional.

But have a great time in Australia, Seanan!!!

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Dammit.

[smoooom.livejournal.com]

Halloween stuff is generally Orange. I don't know about other parts of the world or the universe, but in my part of it, plain orange flanellette is not easy to find unless its near Halloween and I really need some. I actually looking for some. (Why can't I spell?) Also a totally random and unrelated question. Do Dolphins and Whales reanimate? in FEED I mean. I figured out about sharks (they don't) but figured I'd go to the source for Dolphins and Whales. Yeah I know totally random, sorry, but that's how FEED has effected me, you have no idea. Have fun in Austraila!

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Yes, they do. They're mammals.

[jane-dark.livejournal.com]

As a good-luck wish for your trip, I offer the following article from this morning's Guardian: 'Zombie ants controlled by parasitic fungus for 48m years' (http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2010/aug/18/zombie-carpenter-ant-fungus)

Bon voyage!

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Squee!

[mithriltabby]

During Xmas® Muzak™ season, I avoid going anywhere without headphones and a music player handy to jam their signal.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Probably wise.

[dornbeast.livejournal.com]

Are you sure the collection is reproducing? It's possible that you've passed the point where it develops My Little Pony gravity, pulling all things My Little Pony within a certain radius towards it.

[mac-arthur-park.livejournal.com]

Oh, that can't be good. My younger son will not be happy if his collection (yeah, he inherited mine and his Aunt Spike's collections) if his suddenly fly away.

Although if he knows where they land, he might be thrilled. ;)

(Yeah, he's the little weirdo in the icon. We call him "Gonzo")

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

I'm having the same problem with my rubber ducky collection. I've got more ducks on my bathroom counter than I have regular bathroom stuff. They just seem to show up out of nowhere.


YAY CANDY CORN SEASON!!! :D :D


My Great Pumpkin story:

Every year for Halloween my aunt and uncle would set up a Great Pumpkin, complete with flashing lights and a speaker/microphone. When kids would come up to the house, before they could go to the door, they had to talk to the Great Pumpkin. The only way the could get past the Pumpkin is to say, "I believe in the Great Pumpkin!"

Then they could go up tot he door and get treats from my aunt who dresses up like a witch. Kids kept on coming back to the house, even after they were 'over the trick or treating age' (which I think is a filthy filthy lie) just to talk to the Great Pumpkin.

[mac-arthur-park.livejournal.com]

You are NEVER over the trick or treating stage! I miss that my boys don't want mom to take them around any more or make their costumes. :(

And I always managed to score free candy because I dress up, too.

[piratejenny.livejournal.com]

zombie pumpkins?????

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

They are blue!

[martianmooncrab.livejournal.com]

My interactions with a Queensland Blue were not very ... lets just say, the darn thing was nigh indestructable, the wrong shape and size, and it smelled.. smelled like a real pumpkin.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but they're fun to put on your porch and confuse people with.

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

I love you more than I love just about anything else in the world, including candy corn and my My Little Pony collection, but seriously, if you wake me up at two in the morning to ask me to open the window one more time, you're going to be mittens.

Yours do that too?! :-)

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Yes.

Evil kitties.

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

http://www.extremepumpkins.com/moldy-droopy-skull-pumpkin.html

It's not blue, but...

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

[a-mae-zing.livejournal.com]

I found complete sets of Pony Wear from 1982
fffff YOU LUCKY THING

Okay, I have to ask-- can we see a picture of your ponies?

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

I don't have any current pictures, and the herd is sadly not well-displayed right now. :( I need to get them sorted.

[glam-k.livejournal.com]

Dammit, now you made me go hieing off on a quest for candy corn!!
(I'm totally blaming you for this sugar high that I'm presently cruising along on... just so we're clear.)
(But if anyone asks, I'm gonna go with "the Shiny-Blue Chainsaw-Wavin Zombie Princess made me do it". That'll shut em up right quick. Especially if I accompany it with the Scary Eyes...)
Hee.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

You're welcome!

[gorgeousgary]

The phrase usually directed at Nova and Luna is, "If you weren't so cute, you'd be mittens and guitar strings."

On a totally different topic, you may be interested in checking out my LJ post from yesterday. In which I reveal what happens when Rose Marshall meets Bob Dylan in a dark hotel room...

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Dude, awesome!

[aliciaaudrey.livejournal.com]

I saw Christmas stuff out at the outlets I was at today.

Just say'n.

*hides from Christmas*

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

WHAT NO I REFUSE

[muddlewait.livejournal.com]

May it Please Her Highness, Princess of Halloween;

Today my daughter told me that this year's costume is to give her the appearance of a dead prom queen.

I blame/credit you,
muddlewait.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

You're welcome!

[emurphy42.livejournal.com]

http://kumo.swcp.com/synth/text/peanuts_halloween_II

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Hee.

[angel-vixen.livejournal.com]

Even more frighteningly, our grocery store has Hallowe'en candy...

ON CLEARANCE. Not a "Hey, pick 'em up early!" sale. A "Pick 'em up! Move 'em out! RAWHIIIIIDE!" sale.

Their Christmas displays are waiting patiently in the stock-room in the back. I saw them being unloaded two weeks ago, and nearly had a brain-asplosion.

AngelVixen :-)

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

What?

NO.

[kyrielle]

Dear Seanan,

Have you seen the Two Lumps zombie question this week?

http://twolumps.net/d/20100816.html

Still giggling,
Laura

[mariadkins.livejournal.com]

oh me too. that was such a keeper.

[kyril.livejournal.com]

Has everyone seen the trailer "My Little Pony: Reign of Buttercup Sprinkles"?



(Someone posted this as a reply when Tom Smith posted the Jane Austin's Fight Club video...)

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Oooooh, yes.

[jacylrin.livejournal.com]

Yes, Halloween-themed school supplies should be more in evidence. And socks. As for the blue pumpkin, I may have to encourage my sister to grow some next year, assuming we can get seeds in the US...

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Pretty sure you can!