Mira Grant knows where you live.

[seanan_mcguire]

It's time for today's TOTALLY SILLY CONTEST!

So I'm doing the web content for MiraGrant.com. Those of you familiar with my main website may have noticed that I have multiple bios, some of them deeply, deeply silly in nature, posted on the site. Since Mira doesn't have quite the history I do, and I haven't had the chance to solicit bios for her from my friends, I need something to guarantee the depth of content to which my readers have become accustomed (OCD cat is OCD). So!

You know Chuck Norris?

That.

I'm looking for UTTERLY INSANE statements about Mira Grant. Things like "Mira Grant isn't afraid of the thing under your bed. Mira Grant is the thing under your bed." Or "Mira Grant goes down to the quarry any time she damn well wants to."

Leave your suggestions as comments on this post. I will collect the best (and weirdest) for posting on Mira's website, because I have no hobbies that don't involve utter insanity. There will be prizes! I don't know what those prizes will be, but they, too, will probably be a little odd. (Sadly, I can't promise a copy of Feed until I've done some local accounting, but there will be something.)

Come on. You know you want to.

Comments

[asthecrowfly.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant is what happened to Roanoke.

Mira Grant invites the Jersey Devil and the Octupus that lives under the Tacoma Narrows Bridge and every other terrifying beast in the USA you have ever heard of over to her house every Tuesday. For poker.

Mira Grant cannot go to Vegas because her power over entropic forces would decimate the Vegas casino circuit. She doesn't care, because she likes Monte Carlo better.

Mira Grant is an intelligent, evolved virus in the shape of a girl.

Mira Grant is Typhoid Mary.

Mira Grant knows when the end of the world is coming.

Mira Grant knows when you will rise.

[danceswithlife]

Mira Grant orders a pizza with no anchovies, please.

[miintikwa.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant makes the evil monkey cry.

[mskauri.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant's favorite dates are prime numbers.

Mira Grant's favorite dinner dates are nicely muscled with some lovely marbled areas (for flavor).

Mira Grant quit her job at the DMV because they were "too nice to customers."

Mira Grant invented the "It's A Small World" ride at Disneyland.

[maniakes.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant lives in an invisible sky castle. You know it's true because you haven't seen it.

[quettalinde.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant is the Wicked Witch. All of them.

Mira Grant has defeated James Bond. Twice.

[lostwind.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant is an anagram for :
Arming Rat
An Art Grim.
Both totally appropriate.

[lostwind.livejournal.com]

The only thing keeping Mira Grant from bringing about the apocalypse is Alice hid her copy of the Necronomicon, and won't give it back until she gets skritchies.

[trektone.livejournal.com]

There was Crystal. There was Ronette. There was Chiffon. Then came Mira Grant.

Mira Grant is not The Weakest Link.

Let's play a game. It's called "Mira Grant."

Mira Grant keeps our love alive by artificial means.

[kat-merle.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant:
Stole the cookie from the cookie jar
Is a Disney ****in Princess, care to argue with that?
Controls our evil overlords
Gave Gina the idea
Gives Satan advice
Gives Cuthulu nightmares
Is the voice in your head telling you to do bad things
Can help you. But Won’t.
Always wins bronze in Jumpty Doo competitions
When the turtle can’t help you, Mira Grant can but if you ask her for help you will wish you hadn’t.

[archangelbeth]

Mira Grant sees the Fnords.

[beckyh2112.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant hatches xenomorphs as a hobby.

[beeker121.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant enjoys late night walks through the forest wearing a white nightgown.

[fleetfootmike.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant is her /own/ evil double.

[redbird57.livejournal.com]

The answer is 42. Mira Grant is the question.

[miladygrey.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant is so totally the Marilyn that the name has been retired.

The only small town in Maine that has not been destroyed by angry psychics/vampires/evil clowns/domes happens to be Mira Grant's birthplace.

Sheriff Pardy should have called Mira Grant. Just sayin'.

Mira Grant is coming to get you, Barbara.

[tibicina.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant is the only person ever to come back from the Cornfield.

[sysrae.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant once gave the ebola virus to a unicorn, just so she could use its blood to innoculate herself.

Mira Grant once beheaed a zombie MacGuyver using only a piece of dental floss and some paperclips.

Mira Grant is the secret Queen of Wednesday.

Mira Grant won a chainsaw duel with Leatherface.

[gorgeousgary]

Mira Grant is building a giant staple gun to staple the Hayward Fault shut. Permanently.

Occasionally, monsters used to eat tourists in the Seattle Underground. Then Mira took the tour.

(Or: Mira knows where the bodies are buried in the Underground. She put 'em there.)

[professor_mirror]

Mira Grant won the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny. Mr. Rogers just has better PR.

Mira Grant knows what became of Ambrose Bierce.

Mira Grant used to date The King in Yellow.

[orcaarrow.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant not only stared into the abyss, the abyss blinked first!

[tibicina.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant drank Cthulu's milkshake.

Mira Grant's milkshake brings all the zombies to the yard. (That's right, it's better than yours.)

Everytime you masturbate Mira Grant raises a zombie kitten.

[iwishthat.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant Sunk R'lyeh and Atlantis to make room for her swimming pool.

The Elder Gods are afraid of Mira Grant.

[twfarlan.livejournal.com]

(With apologies to... well, you, actually)
Mira Grant arrived in Europe back in thirteen forty-seven
And for several hundred years she just kept sending folks to heaven.

[snowishness.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant sneezed once and that was the Big Bang.

Mira Grant is what makes up the strings in String Theory.

The universe is currently expanding in an attempt to get away from Mira Grant.

Mira Grant doesn't play dice with the universe, she throws darts.

Zombies are the natural response to the fact that no one will ever be as smart as Mira Grant.

There's a version of Rock, Paper, Scissors that goes Mira Grant, Black Hole, Nuclear Explosion. Black Hole always wins because everyone's too afraid to throw a Mira Grant.

Mira Grant once agreed to race Hermes. The official story is that he's still trying to reach the finish line.

Hades doesn't have any pomegranates left because Mira Grant ate them all. Then she ate Hades.

Mira Grant always gets a tiara for her birthday.