Serial killer fun!

[seanan_mcguire]

There was a contest on Twitter earlier this week, wherein those of us who had nothing better to do with our time tried to compose complete, if very short, stories involving serial killers in order to win a book about a serial killer. I don't think I won, but wow did I have a lovely time, and as exercises in brevity go, this one was awesome. I give you...serial killer party!

"Corn mazes are full of shadows and, at Halloween, full of screams. She moves amongst artificial monsters, natural and sharp."

"Some like the personal touch: razors, throats, the copper taste of blood. Others think larger. Don't drink the water."

"They always blame the men with the axes, not the little girls who inexplicably survive. Beware the ones in the red hoods."

"Every time Jean Grey dies, I kill a redhead and set the body on fire. They just killed Emma Frost. Time for the freezer."

"Tapeworm eggs easily survive the blender. My friends love my protein shakes, and they all die thin and oh-so-pretty."

"Horror movie extras often go missing. Everyone thinks they're lazy or drunk. No one notices the blood on the caterer's hands."

"Who stalked who was open to debate. One had a razor; the other a roll of duct tape. It was either love or killing time."

"Murder is like Chinese food. An hour later you're hungry again. Waitresses in Chinese restaurants often walk home alone."

I am sometimes way, way too easily amused, I swear.

Comments

[hsifyppah.livejournal.com]

You are utterly terrifying and also have my home address. I will go quiver in alarm now. ♥

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Smart Brooke is smart! Lucky that I love you so. :)

[ladymondegreen.livejournal.com]

Home address? Hell, she has keys to my place.

*goes to hide with Brooke* (We can play terrified Sardines!)

[shiyiya.livejournal.com]

You are made of so much win.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Win...and DEATH!

[kara-gnome.livejournal.com]

These are lovely. It's interesting how some are fine as they are, sort of like bumper-stickers for the demented and others, well, you'd really like to read the rest of the story. I think the first one is my favorite :)

Thanks for sharing, they're great!

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I really did have way, way too much fun with this one.

[alexwearspants.livejournal.com]

Okay, so I am now going to go and bolt my doors as well as lock them as it's about one in the morning here and there were creepy white-van men circling the block a few nights ago and you've just reminded me that just because people look the same on the outside doesn't mean you know them.

In other words: Very well done.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

If I have made you sleep more poorly, I have done my job very, very well.

[alexwearspants.livejournal.com]

But for their awesome, I would accuse you of doing it too well. I ended up having to curl up with my Big Finish Audios to drift off.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

...awww, see, now I'm sorry. :(

[alexwearspants.livejournal.com]

Aw, no, it's ok. It was an awesome way to get freaked out. One day I will balls up! Just ... never ever ever drinking protein shakes. Ever.

[vincentursus.livejournal.com]

You're brilliant.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Awww. Thank you.

[ravenclawed.livejournal.com]

Love them all, especially the "don't drink the water" and the tapeworm-egg shakes.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[deire.livejournal.com]

I sort of love these. And need to go find the twitter fic contests.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Twitter fic is weirdly soothing and pleasurable, because it's both short and sweet.

[deire.livejournal.com]

I recently committed to 10 pages a week with a friend who's known me 17 years. I both long for the Twitterfic and fear that it might lead to her duct taping me to a wall.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

That's a fair concern.

[valkyrwench.livejournal.com]

You are adorable and disturbing. It's an enticing combination.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Awwwwwwww. Thank you.

[beable]

You are the only person I know who would have facts like "tapeworm eggs easily survive the blender" readily available at their disposal.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

And now, so do you.

[ladyfox7oaks.livejournal.com]

As a redhead, I think I may have to get that bottle of peroxide now... (O_O)

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, Jean Grey's been dead for a while now.

[ladyfox7oaks.livejournal.com]

Which time? They keep bringing her BACK, after all... (She's almost been brought back more times than The Master!)

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

This is still the Morrison death. She's been gone since 2004, this time.

[kat-merle.livejournal.com]

Love you but you are so creepy! I am never letting you cook for me.

[seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com]

Which is really a pity; I'm an excellent cook.