Mira Grant knows where you live.

[seanan_mcguire]

It's time for today's TOTALLY SILLY CONTEST!

So I'm doing the web content for MiraGrant.com. Those of you familiar with my main website may have noticed that I have multiple bios, some of them deeply, deeply silly in nature, posted on the site. Since Mira doesn't have quite the history I do, and I haven't had the chance to solicit bios for her from my friends, I need something to guarantee the depth of content to which my readers have become accustomed (OCD cat is OCD). So!

You know Chuck Norris?

That.

I'm looking for UTTERLY INSANE statements about Mira Grant. Things like "Mira Grant isn't afraid of the thing under your bed. Mira Grant is the thing under your bed." Or "Mira Grant goes down to the quarry any time she damn well wants to."

Leave your suggestions as comments on this post. I will collect the best (and weirdest) for posting on Mira's website, because I have no hobbies that don't involve utter insanity. There will be prizes! I don't know what those prizes will be, but they, too, will probably be a little odd. (Sadly, I can't promise a copy of Feed until I've done some local accounting, but there will be something.)

Come on. You know you want to.

Comments

[dornbeast.livejournal.com]

When Mira Grant tells a knock-knock joke, no one has to ask "who's there?"

Most people know to dive for cover at that point.

[fleetfootmike.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant does not contain nuts.
Mira Grant in your rear view mirror may appear closer than she is.

[dornbeast.livejournal.com]

"Mira Grant can dictate award-winning horror fiction while killing zombies with a spork."

Mira Grant recently wrote a short story while killing zombies with a spork. She spared one after it offered to put the story on paper, rather than leaving it as internal organs on pavement. ("Ms. Grant...is that comma?" "No, just a misplaced kidney.")

[ladyfox7oaks.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D

[angel-vixen.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant put the ram in the rama-lama-ding-dong.

<chokes on her Coke and is dead>

AngelVixen :-)

[angel-vixen.livejournal.com]

Ghosts aren't those who have "unfinished business" -- Mira Grant hasn't given them permission yet to cross over.

[dornbeast.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant does not know how the world is going to end; she's still deciding.

[ladymondegreen.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant is the girl your mother warned you about. She's sweet as honey made from graveyard flowers, but don't cross her, or she'll call up Jack Skellington, and he'll carve you like a pumpkin, while she draws the whole thing.

[bercilakslady.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant's ideas come from the same place lost socks go to.

[vixyish.livejournal.com]

Heeheeheeheehee

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

Haaaaaaa.

[snowcoma.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant was the other driver on Dead Man's Hill!

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant knew how Lost would end before the end of the first season.

Mira Grant hears the Drums.

Mira Grant is immortal, Death is too afraid to come for her.

The turtle moves, because Mira Grant wants it to.

Mira Grant was on the grassy knoll.

Everything Teddy Roosevelt learned, he learned from Mira Grant.

Mira Grant has a bad ass and is a bad ass

Mira Grant never has to pay late fees.

The IRS pays Mira Grant's taxes and always gives her a generous refund.

Mira Grant knows where you live. She just doesn't care.

Mira Grant is the Smoke Monster.

Mira Grant has a larger section in the Library than the Doctor does.

Mira Grant is the Queen of Cats.

Mira Grant owns Greenland.

Mira Grant has her own cult. Everyone who ever existed and will exist belongs to it.

Mira Grant can haz cheezeburger.

[angel-vixen.livejournal.com]

There can be only One -- and that One is Mira Grant.

[vixyish.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant does not use spellcheck. Her typos fix themselves, apologize, and commit seppuku to expiate their shame.
Mira Grant leaves readers hanging from actual cliffs.

[angel-vixen.livejournal.com]

When Mira Grant's pens run out of ink, she refills them with her current favorite virus.

As they say: reading can be contagious!

[djonn]

Mira Grant weighs the same as a duck. No one living knows which duck.

This may be because at least three species of ducks that tried to nibble Mira Grant to death have mysteriously become extinct.

[danceswithlife]

Mira Grant sprung fully formed from the outback in Australia.
Mira Grant wants to be Vel's mentor.
Mira Grant is planning to serve Tom Cruz broiled as hors d'oeuvres at her next party.
Mira Grant is Candy Smith's real mother.
Mira Grant is the bad fairy you damn well better invite to the christening.

[redrob.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant has visited all 8 continents (including Atlantis), and has a collection of poisonous reptiles from each one living in her house.

Mira Grant consulted on the Hubble Space Telescope, but sadly NASA rejected her suggestion to include a shrine to the Great Turtle.

Mira Grant owns one of the world's foremost spider ranches.

[antimony-medusa.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant is gracious.

Mira Grant does not kill her clients, even if they ask nicely.

Mira Grant plays with the music of the spheres.

Mira Grant suggests if you're worth saving you'll save yourself.

Mira Grant invented the internet. (It's better not to ask why...)

Mira Grant does not sleep. She watches.

Mira Grant can make bacon a food group.

Mira Grant is illegal in five countries and a small town in nebraska.

Mira Grant does not employ a ninja army.

Mira Grant does not write with her toes.

Mira Grant knows how to use a chainsaw. If you know what I mean.

Mira Grant tore down this wall.

Mira Grant tore down the fifth wall.

Mira Grant tore down the fifth wall and inserted the fourth column.

Mira Grant came from away.

Mira Grant has enough middle fingers to show you how she's feeling.

Mira Grant can track your phone without it's battery.

Mira Grant is not edible.

Mira Grant probably has citizenship rights.

Mira Grant wears red- don't ask why.

[argonel.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant wears Jewelery made from crystallized pathogens. You probably shouldn't touch her smallpox ring despite its stunning brilliance.

[dornbeast.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant knows that there is no other intelligent life in the universe. As of last year, that is.

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

You're on a roll.

[markbernstein.livejournal.com]

You don't want Mira Grant's idea of help.

[quettalinde.livejournal.com]

Mira Grant eats zombies for breakfast.

We don't have to worry about alien invasions. Mira Grant personally welcomed them before we were born.

Mira Grant IS life on other planets.

Just because you cannot see Mira Grant does not mean she isn't there.

Co-eds listen to Mira Grant.

Mira Grant bought a remote Pacific island so her army of megalodons could go unnoticed until it was too late.

Mira Grant concocted bubonic plague and released it in medieval Europe—for fun.

Mira Grant breathes fire.

Mira Grant rebuilt the Death Star and has it trained on Earth.